Humiliation, Party of Two?

I am not sure who is more embarrassed….me or Bryce. We went out for a day of errands.

In the car, Bryce said, “Oh noooo, I have a hole in my pocket!”

“Don’t worry nugget, I can fix it later.”

And that was that. No more discussion…he didn’t protest my reassurance…he simply said, “Okay, mom.”

We went to the kids Elementary school to pick up some items for the Homeroom party on Friday. We visited the front office…walked the halls and said Hello to several teachers. When we left, there was a group of students lined up behind us. There was an eruption of laughter and squealing. I thought kids were just being kids.

We then went to The Gap. Boo needed more jeans. I was getting dirty looks from a couple of women in the store. I thought they were just being snots.

We then went to Ross, the grand opening. Bryce had to go to the bathroom. We entered the stall together – and that’s when I saw it.

The “hole in his pocket” was actually an entire side of his pants, blown out.

His butt cheek was staring me in the face…and it wasn’t covered in underwear.

Once again, Bryce had ditched his underwear in the bathroom at home, and chosen to go commando.

I realized I had been to all of those places…with him wearing mismatched clothes…with his butt cheek hanging out of his pants.

I captured this video in the store.

I had to leave the store. I was laughing so hard, I was crying.

I was apologizing PROFUSELY to Bryce.

He said, “I told you dare was a hole in my pocket. ” (For the record…the shorts didn’t even HAVE back pockets. I assumed it was a hole IN his pocket.)

I asked him how it got there. He said, “There was a tiny hole in my pants…and I stuck my finger in it…and then it was a big hole and my bickie came out and got cold.”

Thankful I spotted it before our trip to Wal-Mart. He would have definitely made it on www.peopleofwalmart.com.

White Trash Mother of The Year….2011.

Thank you very  much.

Punkins With the Punkins

A few weeks ago we invited Aunt Jenny and Uncle Richard to go with for a little field trip to the pumpkin patch.

Daddy was in a golf tournament that day and was sad to miss out on the fun…but the show must go on! I promised him that we would go to another pumpkin patch later in the season so he wouldn’t be completely ripped off.

There were pumpkins, of course.

There was some sliding. A lot, actually.

Future Olympic Luger.

The sliding enticed even the most refined.

There was also a very loud corn cannon.

Bryce didn’t appreciate it much. He glared at it, but it just kept on shooting.

There was WHAT WE THOUGHT was a petting zoo. We were astonished by their large assortment of animals. They had two pigs. They had one sheep. They had one duck.

We were trying to figure out why one of the piglets was running frantically around his stall – UNTIL the pre-teen on duty came in and told us that we weren’t supposed to be in there. We were supposed to stay OUTSIDE of the cage, apparently. There are few things more humiliating than being chastised by a tweener.

There was some tire swinging.

There was a hayride. No shirt – No Shoes – Still Service.

This grasshopper joined us. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Doesn’t he look content to you?

There were bear cubs. One of those bear cubs wasn’t happy about the photo shoot.

There was a cow train…overrun with teenagers.

Bradley loved it.

Bryce wasn’t so sure about the teenagers. He was checkin’ em out.

There were hoops and hay tunnels.

There were brothers.

There was bouncing.

There was a very sweet uncle who tried to help a scared nephew jump.

There was also a corn maze…that NONE of us were interested in after all of this.  No thank you.

And of course…there was posing. Something that the children have kindly endured throughout childhood.

Aunt Jenny was patient with me, as well.

I’m so thankful for family…that my kids have a large circle of people who love them…and love them well.

Thanks Jen and Rich for such a memorable day!

Preschool

Bryce started Preschool last month. He is keeping the tradition alive and attending the same Preschool his big brother and sister did. He was very familiar with everything, even before the first day. When Bradley was in Preschool, Bryce and I used to drop him off in the morning. Bryce would scream and cry when it was time to leave. He wanted to stay and play, too.

Now is the day of his glory.

Daddy walked him in. Nothing makes you feel braver than when you are holding Daddy’s hand.

He hung up his bag and washed his paws.

He checked himself in.

He said hello to his teachers, Miss Joyce and Miss Wilma, (which are beautiful, by the way).

(I couldn’t snag a picture of Wilma the first day, so I stole this off her FB page…hopefully she forgives me).

Then it was bucket time. We stayed and played for a few minutes.

When it was time for us to go, there were tears. Being left behind wasn’t as fun as he imagined it would be.

Courtney and I grabbed breakfast around the block, and we came back to spy on him.

Thankfully, Miss Wilma was in the hall when we got there. She told me that Bryce had only cried for a minute and was all settled in and happy now.

I didn’t even have to spy.

When I picked him up at lunch time, he ran to me. yelling. “Mama! Mama! Mama! I MISSED YOU! I LOVE YOU, Mama!!

I melted into a puddle of goo.

Big, tight hug around the neck…over and over and over again.

I wish EVERY day could be a first day.