Sibling Communication Issues

Bradley was in no hurry to start talking when he was a baby. For the first two years his vocab consisted of "Ehhhhhhhh" and "No". Due to his vocabulary EXPLODING over the past year, he has acquired a new studder - where his mouth can't work as fast as his brain. (I suspect that his huge, juicy lips could also inhibit his abilities).

Karah is virtually toothless - which complicates her annunciation.

This posed a serious communication problem yesterday. Apparently Bradley was trying his hardest to spit out a mouthful of words - and he did just that.....spit all over Karah's face.

She ran inside to tell on him - as her "tooth issue" kicked in........she screamed,

"Mama! Boo just SHIT on me!"

Due to Bradley's recent potty issues (peeing off the deck, pooping in the bushes) I had a heart attack and took her literally. You can imagine my joy when I rushed to find her wiping her face....of saliva.

Farmington Sombrero Sighting!!!!

I received an urgent phone call from my sis-in-law, Maren. She had spotted yet another authentic Mexican on the side of the road, as she drove through Farmington. I quickly questioned her and found that it was also one of the "chique, understated" sombreros. Totally plain, with exception of a thicker edge. I verified that this was NOT the same man I saw in Walmart shopping for a bicycle. She said he was larger with a belly and was working out in his yard. After collecting and analyzing all of the data, as well as considering the opinions of my blog readers....I have come to the following conclusions:

1. Sombrero's ARE designed as sun protection - though they also serve as a staple in the authentic Mexican's wardrobe - deeming it appropriate as evening wear in Walmart.

2. The plain sombreros are of limited availability in the U.S. The obnoxious, overly adorned are a dime a dozen....but the REAL deal can only be located south of the border or at an AM's (Authentic Mexican's) yard sale.

3. Bike helmets are not yet made to fit the sombrero. Maybe this is my million dollar idea in the making.

So - after reading all of the submissions....I have to give the prize to Diana! I will give her the choice of the pinata from the Conoco Gas Station - or she can "upgrade" and I can buy her one of the steel flamingos that the man down the street is selling out of his front yard. It's your call Diana!

You are officially the Mexican Expert....aka "Mexpert".

Who could that be knocking at my door?

It's a scary world out there......and as I am new to this blogging world - I have a favor to ask of my sweet friends who are readers of my blog. If you choose to reference my blog on your blog list - could you PLEASE name us by first name only? It's a good internet safety practice- and our family would much appreciate our anonymity :) I usually welcome large hairy men knocking on my door....especially if they are holding a burger.....but some scrawnier ones might show up holding duct tape and a shovel. So, to avoid any "issues", your cooperation is appreciated!

In Need of A Little Therapy.....

Tonight we had an "incident" - in which I am still in need of a little therapy......so, please oblige. Karah and Bradley had been riding their bikes in the driveway after dinner and Tom and I were cleaning up the dishes and chatting about our days. I went out to see the kids and they were NOWHERE to be found. I have learned from past experience to not freak out too soon....so I stayed calm as I went through the cul-de-sac searching for them. I went back in and went through the house - heart pounding faster and faster.....calling....and then screaming their names - with no answer. We went outside again to search for them - and my neighbor Sherri joined the search. At this point we had searched EVERYWHERE and were running out of options. Tom then left in his truck to look for them.

All I could think of was last night. I was out driving late last night and heard on the radio about a new text message Amber Alert system. I remember vividly, having the thought of "what would I do if my child went missing - or worse - what would I do if my children went missing?" I was freaking out and ran to the basement....AGAIN - screaming for them, likely in a state of panic at this point. Karah and Bradley came out of the exercise room (where they had been HIDING!) and ran straight to their rooms. They knew that this wasn't good.

Sherri knocked at the door and I told her I had found them and that they had been hiding from us - and told her I was going to kill them! Not literally of course :) It was all I could do to keep from breaking down right there. The emotional release of all of those fears and "what if's" racing through my head was intense.

I went to check on the kids and Karah was under her bed and Bradley was hiding under his blankets. They were horrified by the sound of my voice, I'm sure - when I was screaming for them through my tears. I'm sure they were hiding, thinking....."Yup - she is now officially Cuckoo."

We all had a talk and hugs and kisses - and I got some extra hugs from Tom. I still am on the brink of tears right now - and this happened hours ago. It was horrible and I NEVER want to experience those feelings again. I don't know what I would do without those little people. They are my world.

Bradley's Reading Glasses

Tom went on to check on the kids the other night, after we had tucked them in bed. Bradley had been restless and we had given him permission to stay up and read for awhile. When he went, he found Bradley with his "reading glasses" on. He has worn his plastic safety goggles for months, whenever he reads a book. This was finally the time that we remembered to capture it. He is a literary giant. That night, it was "Goodnight Moon"....a classic, of course.

Please End the Debate.....YOU call it!

A neighbor was out today - she claims that she was on a "Sunday Walk". I was quick to point out (not to her, of course) that it technically was NOT a "walk". Tom debated the issue and said it would be a "drive". I rallied back and let him know that I thought it would be classified as a "roll". Tom said since it is motorized - it is a "drive." Since the motor power pales in comparison to engine power - I dont think this is a fair classification. So the question is - "If a woman is roaming the neighborhood on a scooter. perhaps a "Rascal", is she:

1. On a walk

2. On a roll

3. On a Drive

4. On a path to sure destruction - What happens if she is a mile from home and her battery dies?

Most people who scoot ARE capable of walking - it is just painful or they cant handle the long distances. The other small percentage is just lazy.

I once came to the "Rescue" of an elderly woman who was stranded in the middle of the pickle aisle on a scooter. She had a pathetic little look on her face - as if she was crying out to me with her eyes in desperation. I asked her if she needed help and she told me she had been waiting for help and that her scooter had died. I quickly fetched the manager and when he arrived the sweet, innocent little lady disappeared. She cussed him out in a very crude manner. Ever since then, I have had a problem with the scooter dwellers and their sense of entitlement. Maybe I am rude - but some scooter folk think since they are motorized, they have the right away and everyone should dive out of their path. I have even been honked at in the middle of Walmart. If they could only put horns on the carts! Anyway - I am adding to my list of flaws from earlier blogs: Bigot, Despiser of the "green", and now a persecutor of the scooter bound.

Side note: I am quite fond of one scooter user. Her name is Llewellyn. She once drove her scooter through the middle of gang fight in front of a courthouse. She also braved the traffic on a major road just to get some McDonalds for her son in law. I need to ask her if she went thru the drive thru or went in. Anyway, she is the exception to all of the above listed complaints. Roll on Llewellyn. Roll with Pride and chin high.

So - give me your vote! What is it?????

Tag....You're It! (Be grateful I spell check - It originally said, "Tag - Your Tit!")

Here's the story...my friend Diana (foxy picture below) tagged me to list 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 obsessions, and 3 random facts about myself. After you read my responses, you may find that you have been tagged, as well!

Joys

1. Definitely my family (from Tommy T to the kiddos....doesn't get any better)

2. Laughter. I LOVE to laugh.

3. Running. I am not one of those people who incessantly talks about working out - to the point of being obnoxious. I just list this as a joy because running is now something easy for me - that felt unattainable earlier in my life. It is exhilarating to just run and "be".

Fears

1. Fear of having regrets when I am an old lady (coulda, woulda, shoulda's)

2. Snakes! The worst part is having a husband that doesn't kill them - he just captures them and goes and sets them free to multiple somewhere else - until the entire earth is covered with them.

3. Bridges! I evidently share this fear with Diana - but others can attest to the fact that I floor it on bridges to get it over with quicker. I unbuckle my seat belt and practically start taking my clothing off - so it doesn't weigh me down as I am trying to pull my kids to safety. It's not healthy, really.

Goals

1. To be the best wife and mama I can be - teach my children and raise them to be intelligent, kind, and well adjusted adults that have a ton to offer the world...and to keep my relationship with Tom fun and "alive" during the child rearing process.

2. To live fully - without regrets!

3. To lose 50 more pounds....for a total of 100 -and to complete a triathalon.

Obsessions

1. Cooking. I love, love, love to cook for people - especially my family. Tom always says he can "taste the love in it". I love trying new things and making things up. The challenge these days is abandoning the comfort food in exchange for healthier options....which I am finding are equally delicious.

2. Stopping terrorists. I know I am going to sound like a totally ignorant racist - but if I see a middle eastern talking on a cell phone in the grocery store - I am just SURE that he is plotting to blow the place up. Once I took a flight on Southwest, where you can choose your own seats. There were two Arab men, acting very nervously - so I went and picked a seat right next to them - so if they tried to pull anything, I could at least be one of the first to try and beat the crap out of them. I was getting psyched up to beat the tar out of them and Tom patted my leg and said, "Leave them alone Sarah, they're mexicans." Hence, you can see my lack of education when it comes to spotting different ethnicity's. I have an equally difficult time differentiating between bobcats, wildcats, pumas, and jaguars. I am animal and ethnically remedial. So, in a nutshell, I am obsessed with protecting humanity from those who would destroy us :) And no, I'm not a bigot. I love Arabs!

3. Clean sheets. There is nothing better than climbing into bed with crisp, cool sheets - fitted tightly on the mattress.

Random Facts

1. I hate recycling. I know - first an ignorant bigot - and now a despiser of the green. Here is the problem. I like the idea of recycling - I just hate how it wastes water as you have to rinse out every stinking thing you throw away. I made the mistake of telling a neighbor about this - and she told me she keeps a container of "grey water" - by her sink so she doesn't waste clean water. This angered me more. Who has time to do all of this? I will never be green. I am so brown.

2. I used to work in Prison, teaching sex offenders an anger management course that I wrote at BYU and I was also an advocate for the Rape Crisis Center, here locally. I would get paged when a rape occurred and have to go to the hospital if a rape kit was performed. So, I worked with both offenders and victims.

3. I am a freak magnet. I attract those in need of serious help. Please don't say "Birds of a feather...." or I will have to.....do something. Whether it is the cashier at Walmart - unloading on me and telling me all of their problems, or being followed in a store by a Hannibal Lecter look alike, telling me he likes my hair............or perhaps one of the new mothers in Karah's homeroom class, who invited me to her blog - which was filled with porn and swingers. Talk about "networking". Yikes. They are a dime a dozen. I have a run in with one of these several times a week. Perhaps I should start a freak of the day thread.

Now it's my turn to TAG you! I am choosing to tag the following people: Shannon, Josie, Courtney, and Dana. Can't wait to read your answers!!

Consult with Barber Bob

During the Fourth of July party, Barber Bob had a consultation with Bryce and gave him a few ideas of ways he could make his hair more manageable. Bryce immediately shot down the recommendation for a flat top - but was open to some of his other ideas. Bryce finally felt comfortable enough to set up an appointment for the following day. Bryce was impressed with Barber Bob's level of professionalism - especially the cape he supplied a client of his size. He sat so still, as he was mesmerized by Judy's beauty.

When Bradley saw the quality of Barber Bob's work - he was next in line. That Barber Bob has magic hands. A gift - A power - A great responsibility to "boykind".

PARTY AT OUR PLACE!!!

This year, we decided to stay home for the 4th of July and do our own thing. We invited over some of our favorite people....the attendees (In random order, of course):

Bradley, the master of Pyro ceremonies. In Arkansas it is tradition to let the underage be in charge of all explosives.

Brad, my brutha from anutha mutha. He enjoyed taking a puff of the punk.

Dana, his lovely wife....posing with "Little G" (Garrett), who makes his debut any day now!

Greg and Krista - some of the sweetest you'll ever meet.

Todd and Courtney, lighting a unity Roman Candle....

Tommy T - The one who orchestrated the fireworks display.

Bryce, the life of the party!

Bob and Judy, Dana's parents.....So sad I didn't get a picture of Judy. She is stunning. Bryce always flirted with her when Bob wasn't looking.

Karah, the debutant party princess.

Following is a large assortment of children. Let's play a little game and see if you can match the child to the correct parents. Some are dead giveaways :) You may be wondering why there is no picture of Brady, Brad and Dana's little boy. He was not available for a photo shoot due to his intense fear of fireworks. Brady spent a peaceful night in our basement watching a Barbie movie...much to Brad's dismay.

We enjoyed S'mores as we debated whether marshmallows are best toasty brown or encased in carcinogens.

When we invited Bob and Judy to attend our 4th of July fireworks- they later told us that they had expected a few sparklers. They were shocked to see that it really was "a show". It rocked! Go Tom! I think we will stay home every year!

Double Date Night - Naturals Baseball Game

We decided to kick off the 4th of July weekend by going to a Naturals Game on the 3rd. They were to play San Antonio, and then there was to be a 40 minute symphony concert and fireworks. Tom's company has season pass tickets behind home plate - great seats in a beautiful new stadium. We went with Courtney and Todd - hopes high of enjoying a fabulous night together.Love was definitely in the air....along with a few storm clouds. Once the downpour began, I was given the opportunity to grab a piece of my "men" while we waited for the storm to pass. I had to tell "Strike", the mascot, that it just wasn't going to work out. He had major hygiene issues and was in desperate need of an esthetician. Tom SO had him beat.

The game was resumed long enough for us to eat every bit of junk food we could find in the stadium. Between all of us, the list included: burgers, nachos, Italian sausages with peppers, ice cream, pretzel, cotton candy, drinks. Courtney and I had worked out the night before and vowed to get "a" treat. Well, not so much.

"Strike" wasn't going to take no for an answer, so he was sure to try to dissuade me from my decision to stick with Tommy T. He even threatened me with a gun, but I would not be his Ozark Mountie. NEVAH!

The clouds rolled in again and I told the others that I felt we should get out of there. Of course Tom wanted to watch the end of one more inning - when I forced the issue by running out of the stadium. He was such a gentleman - he followed me. Just then, there was a HUGE bolt of lightning and we looked back to see the stadium in the dark. All of the field lights and everything had lost power. Even the parking lot lights were out. The lightning kept coming as I ran to the car - much to the amusement of the others. We ended up going to a movie afterwards and saw Hancock, which we really enjoyed.

There may not have been a symphony or fireworks - but it was a fantastic and memorable double date and a GREAT way to ring in the 4th of July!

Karah's Gymnastics Birthday Party

Karah was lucky enough to have her "friends birthday party" at her gymnastics place. Most of her closest friends were able to attend - so she was on cloud nine.

Before her friends arrived, I walked in on a serious conversation between Karah and Bradley. To this day, I don't know WHAT was being discussed (neither one would tell me) but this I do know - it was SERIOUS. It was like they didn't even see me standing there taking a picture of them. Their eyes were fixed on each other and you could cut the tension with a knife. If I had to guess, it probably entailed Karah telling Bradley that this was a big kids party - and Bradley letting her know that he IS a big kid now. It was hilarious. Whatever it was - it blew over and they had a great time together the rest of the time.

The kids got to do the trampoline, balance beams, vault (complete with foam pit), rope climb, floor exercise, and a little obstacle course they had set up for them. Bryce took some time out and did a little pommel horse demonstration for us.

It was the typical kid party..... as listed below:

1. Child looking frantically at mother as a mob of children "help" unwrap her gifts. This one was especially painful for the others to violate...it was a princess dress from Grandma.

2. "Help" blowing out the birthday cake. I have always wondered if the helper gets to make a wish, too???

3. A frenzied "assembly line" process of opening gifts wherein the mom is constantly having to remind her child to say "thank you" each time she opened a gift - before it was tossed aside in the frenzy to open the next one.

Her party had it all! It was perfectly imperfect....and we loved every minute of it.