As a Mother’s Day treat, my friend Courtney and I went for a little staycation at a hotel that just happened to have a spa.. Tom wanted me to go somewhere to relax, so we decided to spend Friday, getting a little R & R.
We each scheduled a massage and facial and my esthetician was the sweetest, wisest, woman. Typically, you are silent during something that’s so relaxing, but we naturally clicked and our conversation centered around Motherhood and family life.
I told her that I had been so excited to come and have this little getaway…but found it so funny that once I was there, all I could do was think about my bear cubs.
She shared so much wise counsel with me and expressed to me how quickly it goes by. She raised three sons of her own and said if she could have just one day back…..even if it was her kid’s very WORST day, how she would take it back in a heartbeat. To be so needed again…was what she longed for.
She spoke of the importance of putting the emphasis on your marriage, and not getting so wrapped up in your children’s needs, that you neglect your partner’s needs ---- and how important it is to have mutual interests, time to connect each day, having fun together, and keeping physical intimacy a priority.
I know it sounds like some deep conversation…but it really did help me relax, as she told me stories of raising her boys in an old farmhouse…homeschooling, challenges they faced, and hearing how proud she was of the fine men she raised.
It was such a gift to have a woman, who has already traveled the road I’m on, share her insight with me. I came out with brighter skin and a renewed desire to mother my little cubs.
That night, after a long nap, we went to see The Avengers. I am ashamed to admit that we both fell asleep during it. I will have to watch it again (not close to midnight) and see what all the buzz is about.
The next morning, we slept in until 8:30. I remember in my college days when “sleeping in” was 9 or 10 am. Those days are gone….but 8:30 felt like a dream. I called Tom and asked how he had slept. He said, “It was a long night, Bryce got sick.”
You have to know that my kids wait to get sick for when Daddy is in charge. Without fail, if I am gone, someone throws up. This usually means that I get to go shopping after I return home. Tom has the philosophy that if something has been vomited on, it goes in the trash. This means new sheets, new pillows, new “whatever was thrown up on”. I can’t fault him for his “clean up abilities”…after all, he IS the one home, cleaning it up, right?
After breakfast, we bid each other farewell, and committed to never see a late movie again, and opt for an 8 pm bedtime. The older I get, the more fun “sleeping” becomes.
When I walked through the door, I was greeted with hugs and tons of homemade notes, letters, poems, and bookmarks from the kids. They had a case filled with flowers, cut from my rose bushes. There was a pot of dirt on the table, which Boo had planted flower seeds in. It was still a day before Mother’s Day, but they were so anxious to shower me with their love…and I was so ready to receive it. Bryce was still green when I got home. Weepy…irritated, cranky, and ready to dish up some attitude. His orneriness evened out the love fest. Opposition in all things, right?
We spent the rest of the day together on Donkey Hill. It was heaven. Then I went shopping for new pillows…new sheets….new…..lol.
Sunday morning, I was awakened as Tom and the kids sang “Happy Mother’s Day To You…”, as they delivered me breakfast in bed. Tom had made French Toast with warm syrup and eggs. He is a master at cooking eggs “over medium”, by the way.
Bradley came back in a few minutes later and gave me this.
That sweet boy had purchased this pin for me, back during his school’s Santa Shop. He had saved it all these months, waiting for the perfect moment to give it to me. Bradley is going to make some young lady, one fine husband, someday.
Tom came in and surprised me with this:
This was what I told him I wanted for my Birthday…which was still a month away. I told him that the spa trip was already more than enough…but he said, “Birthday’s are about fun, but Mother’s Day is about “beauty”.
Bradley got his thoughtful heart from his Daddy.
The rest of the day was great. Church was wonderful (great speakers and music). During Sunday School, I went out to the car with my dearest friend, Anne. It had been too long since we had connected, so we took the hour (justifying it by being our Mother’s Day gift to ourselves) and just caught up. I talked to her about something that I had been down on myself for – and that woman lifted me right up and helped me see it in a completely different way….in a way I could feel good about. She does that, Anne. She is such a listener. She “gets” me and I “get” her. Our friendship has had an amazing rhythm since our friendship began almost 5 years ago. I adore her. She is a kindred spirit, confidant, and mentor. She is another woman that is further down the road of Motherhood and she always buoys my spirit up and helps me be a better mother.
I delivered my Mom’s mother’s Day gift after I got back from church and had a good visit with her and Pappy. I loved talking to her as she showed me around her garden. I love her and I am so happy that she lives close enough that I can just drive down the street and see her face to face. I remember the years when we lived far apart…how I would call home and just wish I could see her face…see the room she was sitting in…hear the dishwasher running and see the parakeets chirping on top of the microwave. (Odd yes, but the nostalgia of it all does me in). I am so thankful for my Mama, for giving me my life, for teaching me the gospel, for being my friend, and for loving me the way she does. She has a lover that never quits loving.
That night we shared dinner with Anne and her family…it was yummy and the company was quite entertaining.
Later that night, I was tucked in and replaying the weekend’s events. It felt like the best Mother’s Day ever…with my heart full for my own mother…and overflowing with gratitude for the children I have been called to mother. I thought of the other Mother’s in my life…women who had helped me, inspired me, and taught me so much – just in those couple of days.
Yes, the massage and facial were heaven. The nap in a big comfy bed was out of this world….and the gifts and cards were all sweet and thoughtful. But at the end of the day…when all was said and done…I was just thankful for the gift it is to love and raise these babies. It’s an amazing blessing and responsibility to be a Mother.
I ended the night, praying for my babies…my husband…and myself --- that I can be all that they need and deserve. They are everything to me. I drifted to sleep, with the words of my esthetician echoing in my mind….”If I could have just one more day”… my heart longing to love them even better from then on.
Again, my favorite words…
“The biggest mistake I made, as a parent, is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of my three children sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”
― Anna Quindlen, Loud and Clear
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