Dear Little Bear Cubs,
It has been too long since I have written to you...not for a lack of things to talk about :) So I wanted to write to you about something that has been weighing on my mind lately...for many reasons.
Charity. I need more of it. Really.
C. S. Lewis said, "When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected; I was caught off my guard.... yet surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is. Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth. If there are rats in the cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats; it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light. Apparently the rats of resentment and vindictiveness are always there in the cellar of my soul."
Little bear cubs...I don't know why it is - but it seems that these yucky parts come a little more naturally to all of us. I suppose that's why it is referred to as "the natural man".
So many times it's easy to resist the love of God...wondering how he could love us when we sin knowingly and sometimes deliberately. It is easy to believe in His love for all of his children...yet keep Him at arms length...feeling undeserving of his mercy and grace...and not believing we are worthy of the sacrifice.
Neal A. Maxwell said that "Christ's relentless 'redemptiveness' exceeds our recurring wrongs."
It is pure charity.
In the words of a favorite hymn, Christ pleads with us...
"At the throne I intercede; For thee ever do I plead.
I have loved thee as they friend, with a love that cannot end.
Be obedient, I implore. Prayerful, watchful, evermore,
And be constant unto me, that thy Savior I may be."
I want to draw nearer little bear cubs. Fewer "rats" and a lot more charity. i want to more fully let Him in...I want to be the best mama I can be...and the best wife I can be to your Daddy....allowing the Lord to exterminate all of the nasty little rats that creep in from time to time. Be patient with me. I'm a work in progress :)
I love you little bear cubs...more than I could ever express in words.
The Mama Bear
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Date Night: Demolition Derby '09
We kept the tradition alive and headed to the demolition derby a few weeks ago. We shared the night with Stefani and Mike. We knew we made the right choice when he showed up wearing this shirt...
For YOE - we headed to a new place for dinner...appropriate for a derby night, of course. This year we ventured out to a hole in the wall - "The Pontiac". It's an old car dealership - turned coffeehouse...and church...yes, church. The warehouse has been converted into a small concert arena...which doubles as a place of worship. That night it was bluegrass.
Oh yes, and there is a flea market IN the restaurant.
Nasty.
Nothing worse than itching while you eat.
Oh...and I couldn't forget the ceiling. That was a nice touch, too.
It was a memory though...especially the part where I spilled my water on Stefani.
The dinner was topped off with a teenage girl spewing something out of her mouth while we were sitting next to her. Turns out it wasn't vomit....she just spit out her drink - all over the floor - while laughing at a joke. Either way...Nasty.
It was the perfect redneck start to our evening....appropriate since we were about to simmer g in a pool of rednecks for the next 3 hours.
We hooked up with our neighbors Sherri and Bobby - once we got to the derby.
They are a couple that shares a passion for the freakish. We were sad when they told us there had been midget wrestling in town a few weeks earlier that we missed out on! They are salt of the earth, I'm telling you.
The night began with an opening prayer...imploring the powers of heaven to keep these drivers safe...even though they would be purposefully crashing into each other.
We have never left a derby disappointed. This year was no exception.
Here is a brief recap of our sightings.
For YOE - we headed to a new place for dinner...appropriate for a derby night, of course. This year we ventured out to a hole in the wall - "The Pontiac". It's an old car dealership - turned coffeehouse...and church...yes, church. The warehouse has been converted into a small concert arena...which doubles as a place of worship. That night it was bluegrass.
Oh yes, and there is a flea market IN the restaurant.Nasty.
Nothing worse than itching while you eat.
Oh...and I couldn't forget the ceiling. That was a nice touch, too.
It was a memory though...especially the part where I spilled my water on Stefani.
The dinner was topped off with a teenage girl spewing something out of her mouth while we were sitting next to her. Turns out it wasn't vomit....she just spit out her drink - all over the floor - while laughing at a joke. Either way...Nasty.
It was the perfect redneck start to our evening....appropriate since we were about to simmer g in a pool of rednecks for the next 3 hours.
We hooked up with our neighbors Sherri and Bobby - once we got to the derby.
They are a couple that shares a passion for the freakish. We were sad when they told us there had been midget wrestling in town a few weeks earlier that we missed out on! They are salt of the earth, I'm telling you.
The night began with an opening prayer...imploring the powers of heaven to keep these drivers safe...even though they would be purposefully crashing into each other.
We have never left a derby disappointed. This year was no exception.
Here is a brief recap of our sightings.
- The Duggars....they were at the derby filming a show. They are the family on TLC that has 18 children. There they are...from far away :)
- Bickies!!! There was an overabundance of "coin slots" this year. I put a quarter in but a gumball never came out! I want my money back!!!
- The Turkey Leg....staple of the derby.
- The child faux-hawk: In chocolate....
And Vanilla....
Exposed Bandages:
Tough Cowboy: With root beer in the back pocket - so his arms will be available to hold out far from his body...emphasizing his toughness.
Fire Emergency:
Baby in nothing but a diaper:
Boy wearing bicycle helmet???
Baby shielding ears from the deafening noise:
Lady with boobies as long as HER hair...and a lady with a skirt as small as HER shirt.
Stefanie pretended to be disturbed by all of it...but I KNOW that deep inside...deep, deep....she was secretly loving every minute of it. In fact...I think she was fantasizing about the day that SHE could drive a derby car....perhaps represent for da ladies.
Once again...it was a night we will never forget! Can't wait until next year!!!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Mommy Secrets
I once read a book that had a profound impact on the way that I mother....
"12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know" by Michele Borba. (Click for more info).
"12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know" by Michele Borba. (Click for more info).
One of the secrets of mothering was:
"A Mother who is firm and fair gives her children a moral code to live by."
This is based on setting consistent limits and standards of behavior so "your child learns to act right without you."
It was said that "Just and Consistent" discipline would benefit your children by giving them stability, a sense of responsibility and inner direction.
I believe this wholeheartedly...but acting on it is SO hard at times!!
Last night was a real test for Tom and I.
We had given her permission to go to a school carnival with a neighbor friend on Friday night.
She was SO excited...girls night out.
After dinner last night- she asked if she could play outside before homework.
The previous night she had given me fits about her homework.
I said, "You can play outside...but when I call you in...you can't fuss...and you can't give me fits when you do your homework. If you do fuss and throw a fit...you won't be able to go to the carnival tomorrow night."
She was distracted.
I had her look me in the eyes and I repeated the deal.
She confirmed her understanding and then sealed the deal with a pinky promise.
It was time to come in. She did so cheerfully.
Then homework time.
Not so cheerfully.
Fits, fits, fits.
Tears and more fits.
We told her that she hadn't kept her half of the promise and she wouldn't be able to go to the carnival. Holy meltdown.
Tom told her to get ready for bed and she could wake up early to complete her homework in the morning. More of a meltdown.
She got her jammies on and couldn't sleep. She kept coming down....crying....uncontrollably.
Tom and I were both so sad that she hadn't kept her promise...and even sadder that we had to keep ours.
It SUCKS!!
It was so pitiful....so sad.
We wanted to just say "Apologize and you can go."
We WANTED her to be able to go!!
But no, we knew we had to be firm.
After another hour of tears - Tom told her to go upstairs and write down her feelings since she was so upset she couldn't even form a sentence.
She came down with this:
And then this....
When she didn't get the response she had hoped for - she returned with this:
Tom told her that this wasn't about what she wanted - it was about her poor choices...and what she'd done wrong.
She left again for a long time and finally returned with this:
She got hugs and kisses and went back to bed....for a minute...and came back with this:
(translated: "crushed" heart)
True remorse was setting in...finally.....though she STILL held out hopes that she could go to the carnival - as illustrated in her final plea:
She came and gave me one last hug goodnight and said, "Mama, will you talk with Daddy about it tonight?" (come to find out she had already been to see Tom - given him the hug - and requested he talk with me about it, as well :)
She went to bed and whimpered herself to sleep.
We talked. The verdict was reached.
This morning I woke her up and it was the first question out of her mouth...
"Did you talk about it with Dad?"
"Yes, we talked and we want more than anything for you to be able to go to the carnival...but you broke a promise and threw fits all night. The problem is there has to be a punishment. You can't just say "sorry" and you are off the hook. So we decided you have a choice. You can stay home from the carnival tomorrow night...or you can stay inside after school today - not play with your friends- and help me do chores for 2 hours until it's time to go to the carnival."
She threw her arms around me and squeezed me tighter than she ever had.
This is why I love that book.
Before - I would have been hung up on the "firm and consistent" part.
This brought in an entirely new concept...."Fair".
She had suffered. She had done her time.
She felt remorse.
She is going to pay restitution after school :)
This mothering thing could drive me to drink.
But how could I not love it?
Look at those notes!!
"A Mother who is firm and fair gives her children a moral code to live by."
This is based on setting consistent limits and standards of behavior so "your child learns to act right without you."
It was said that "Just and Consistent" discipline would benefit your children by giving them stability, a sense of responsibility and inner direction.
I believe this wholeheartedly...but acting on it is SO hard at times!!
Last night was a real test for Tom and I.
We had given her permission to go to a school carnival with a neighbor friend on Friday night.
She was SO excited...girls night out.
After dinner last night- she asked if she could play outside before homework.
The previous night she had given me fits about her homework.
I said, "You can play outside...but when I call you in...you can't fuss...and you can't give me fits when you do your homework. If you do fuss and throw a fit...you won't be able to go to the carnival tomorrow night."
She was distracted.
I had her look me in the eyes and I repeated the deal.
She confirmed her understanding and then sealed the deal with a pinky promise.
It was time to come in. She did so cheerfully.
Then homework time.
Not so cheerfully.
Fits, fits, fits.Tears and more fits.
We told her that she hadn't kept her half of the promise and she wouldn't be able to go to the carnival. Holy meltdown.
Tom told her to get ready for bed and she could wake up early to complete her homework in the morning. More of a meltdown.
She got her jammies on and couldn't sleep. She kept coming down....crying....uncontrollably.
Tom and I were both so sad that she hadn't kept her promise...and even sadder that we had to keep ours.
It SUCKS!!
It was so pitiful....so sad.
We wanted to just say "Apologize and you can go."
We WANTED her to be able to go!!
But no, we knew we had to be firm.
After another hour of tears - Tom told her to go upstairs and write down her feelings since she was so upset she couldn't even form a sentence.
She came down with this:
And then this....
When she didn't get the response she had hoped for - she returned with this:
Tom told her that this wasn't about what she wanted - it was about her poor choices...and what she'd done wrong.
She left again for a long time and finally returned with this:
She got hugs and kisses and went back to bed....for a minute...and came back with this:
(translated: "crushed" heart)True remorse was setting in...finally.....though she STILL held out hopes that she could go to the carnival - as illustrated in her final plea:
She came and gave me one last hug goodnight and said, "Mama, will you talk with Daddy about it tonight?" (come to find out she had already been to see Tom - given him the hug - and requested he talk with me about it, as well :)
She went to bed and whimpered herself to sleep.
We talked. The verdict was reached.
This morning I woke her up and it was the first question out of her mouth...
"Did you talk about it with Dad?"
"Yes, we talked and we want more than anything for you to be able to go to the carnival...but you broke a promise and threw fits all night. The problem is there has to be a punishment. You can't just say "sorry" and you are off the hook. So we decided you have a choice. You can stay home from the carnival tomorrow night...or you can stay inside after school today - not play with your friends- and help me do chores for 2 hours until it's time to go to the carnival."
She threw her arms around me and squeezed me tighter than she ever had.
This is why I love that book.
Before - I would have been hung up on the "firm and consistent" part.
This brought in an entirely new concept...."Fair".
She had suffered. She had done her time.
She felt remorse.
She is going to pay restitution after school :)
This mothering thing could drive me to drink.
But how could I not love it?
Look at those notes!!
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Thursday, August 27, 2009
Beginnings...Again
I still can't believe 2nd Grade is here already.
Where has the time gone?
Karah chose a nontraditional first day photo - giving her Daddy a booty bump- while laughing uncontrollably. She was so excited for her big day.
Karah chose a nontraditional first day photo - giving her Daddy a booty bump- while laughing uncontrollably. She was so excited for her big day.
The Backpack
The Lunch Box
The walk of nerves
Bryce was very upset about leaving her at the school.
It felt so odd leaving with the boys.
I was missing her, already.
So many emotions....proud of her growth....wishing it could slow down a little....pleased that she was so confident....wishing for the days when she needed me to stay just a "few more minutes"....excited for her new adventures....worried for the hard days.... Just a ball of typical schizophrenic nerves. I just love her. That's my baby.
Before we knew it...she was home to play again.
One of her favorite dinner's was waiting...
On the Special Red Plate, of course.
Lasagna, Caesar salad, and Corn.
It was a celebration of her big day!
Complete with happy brothers.
We love you Karah...
Here's to an incredible year!!!
Escorted by her proud, little brother.
Bryce was very upset about leaving her at the school.
It felt so odd leaving with the boys.
I was missing her, already.
So many emotions....proud of her growth....wishing it could slow down a little....pleased that she was so confident....wishing for the days when she needed me to stay just a "few more minutes"....excited for her new adventures....worried for the hard days.... Just a ball of typical schizophrenic nerves. I just love her. That's my baby.Before we knew it...she was home to play again.
One of her favorite dinner's was waiting...
On the Special Red Plate, of course.
Lasagna, Caesar salad, and Corn.
It was a celebration of her big day!
Complete with happy brothers.
We love you Karah...
Here's to an incredible year!!!
Blueberry Hill
"I had a blueberry in front of my face and it fell in my nose."
-Bradley, stretching the truth, age 4
Friday, August 21, 2009
Summer Vaca...Day 8 Part 2
After we recovered from the underpants sighting...we headed back to the hotel and hooked up with the rest of the family for dinner at Little America...which was SO tasty.
Afterward we all enjoyed a celebratory dip together...which included much wrestling.
We said our sad goodbyes and headed to bed.The next morning we flew home...all prayers were heard and Bryce was an absolute angel the entire way. We landed to 100 degree heat with 100 percent humidity. The dream had ended. Back to reality....which started with a dead car battery in the airport parking lot.
Though we loved our vacation - there was nothing like being back home....minus the fact that our A/C had broken when we were gone. Like I said....back to reality.
Goodnight Summer Vacation 2009. See you next year!
Afterward we all enjoyed a celebratory dip together...which included much wrestling.
We said our sad goodbyes and headed to bed.The next morning we flew home...all prayers were heard and Bryce was an absolute angel the entire way. We landed to 100 degree heat with 100 percent humidity. The dream had ended. Back to reality....which started with a dead car battery in the airport parking lot.Though we loved our vacation - there was nothing like being back home....minus the fact that our A/C had broken when we were gone. Like I said....back to reality.
Goodnight Summer Vacation 2009. See you next year!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
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