Why I love Melon

Her name is Maren. I call her Melon. She is my SIL (Sister in Love).

She once worked at a Chinese restuarant and the Chinese owner kept yelling for her to get the water. He said, "Get da watah Melon!"

It's one of my favorite stories and so the name stuck, "Melon".
She makes incredible Pork Barbacoa and she has a wicked sense of humor.

Today she sent me the link to some extremely ridiculous parenting products.  I have been laughing my butt off (figuratively of course. My butt is still VERY MUCH here).

I thought I would preserve this moment in time and share my favorite Top 10 with you.
All of these photos and descriptions are from Parenting.com

#1. THE PLACENTA BEAR

What's more cuddly than a placenta? Not only must you cut, cure and emulsify the organ, you have to actually sew it into the teddy bear using this kit.

#2. ZAKY INFANT PILLOW

We can't help but get creeped out looking at these disembodied hands cradling a baby. Even worse -- they strike us as a blatant SIDS risk.

#3. TINKLY TUBE

This tube is meant to act as a pee receptacle for potty training little boys so they don't spray the seat (or their shoes). We're not convinced that holding and then dumping a tube of your kid's pee is much more sanitary than just wiping down the toilet seat afterward. The makers say it also works as emergency toilet when you're on the go. Don't we have trees for that?

#4. THE DADDLE

How ever have we managed generations of horsey rides without this strap-on saddle for (poor) Dad?

#5 PLUSH PEE AND POO

You've got to have a sense of humor about bodily functions when you have kids, but plushies in the shape of doo-doo? The only thing less cuddly is a placenta.

#6. BABY BANGS

Babies are great and all, but you know what would make them even better? If they weren’t so bald. These delicate hair bands with attached mop top may have been the basis for theSaturday Night Live ad spoof for baby toupees, but these appear to be 100% for real.

#7. BATHROOM BABY HARNESS

Ok, we admit, this has happened to us: you’re busting to use the bathroom while wearing your baby, and there’s not a germ-free spot to put him down while you do your business. Solution: this hanging harness. However, you have to remember to cram it into your already crowded diaper bag—and this unique situation will probably occur maybe four times in your life, which comes out to about $10 per pee.

#8 TODDLER URINAL

Who doesn’t want more pee receptacles in their home bathroom?

#9 HANDKERCHIEF BRACELET

We’ve all been there: you notice a little something hanging off your kid’s nose, and you don’t have any tissues on hand. The Snozzie makes sure you always have a handkerchief at the ready, but we can’t get past the fact that for the rest of the day, you’ll be wearing boogers.

#10. BIRTH DOLL

IThis birth doll takes the TMI a step further with extreme anatomical correctness. Is it just us, or is it cold in the birthing center?

Thank you Melon, for making my day, and reminding of how much I love you!

My "Batmen"

If you can get past the nasty chocolate stains that surround the lips of my boys...these videos are quite cute.

Bradley has been walking around, talking like Batman. He knows that if he gives me a hand massage...he gets to stay up a little later. It's a win-win, really.

Bryce tries to copy him the best he can. Adorable. Now if we could just teach HIM to give a good hand massage :)

Life Lessons Sting

Early June brought an unwelcome visitor to Bryce's face. 

A wasp. 

A very MEAN wasp.

Bryce was swimming...minding his own business...when out of nowhere, 

he was attacked by the Kamikaze wasp.

He was pitiful.

He kept telling me that he didn't do anything to the wasp.

"Why did he sting me?", he cried. 

 

In his pain, he whimpered, "The wasp slapped me, then bit me, and stung me. I want to grow up and be a hunter and kill every animal in the whole world."  

As the pain subsided, he amended his threat to only include the mean animals. :)

Hurt does that to you sometimes, doesn't it?

Makes you want to lash out in anger--

Especially when you feel so undeserving of the suffering.

He found comfort in his blanket, "nigh-nigh', and his pup.

Gracie is usually terrified at the sight of Bryce. 

She runs and hides when she sees all of his 4 year old energy coming at her. 

That day was different. 

She ran to him and whimpered to lay with him. 

Before his baking soda paste could even have time to dry on his sting...

Bradley was there bearing a gift, a hug, and his concern. 

Can't you see it in his eyes?

Though it brought a small smile to Bryce's face...it was still a smile...

and that was a big deal, considering the pain he was in. 

Karah was there to offer her cuddles and love. 

The boys are so lucky to have her as their big sister.

Life is full of bumps, bruises, and stings...

but how blessed we are to not have to endure them alone. 

Yet another evidence of our Heavenly Father's love for us. 

We have someone there to love us through the hurt. 

We are a family.

Back To School Party

I am convinced that it is more difficult to get your kids to sleep the 

night before school starts 

than it is on Christmas Eve. Seriously.

They were wired. 

Wrestling...squealing...jumping .

Their adrenaline rush even sent them into a little

love fest, which was fun to capture.

They finally settled down enough to pack their lunches. 

Bryce joined in the fun and packed a lunch to take on his trip to Grandma's the next morning.

I love Bradley's bottom lip. 

In the words of his Aunt Jenny, "He needs a wheelbarrow to haul it around". 

So delicious and squishy. You haven't lived until that boy has given you a kiss on the cheek. 

He lives a tormented life of girls chasing him on the playground, because of it.

While packing lunches, we realized that Bryce has an uncanny resemblance to 

Thomas the Train.

Thanks to Pinterest, I had the teacher gifts ready to go. Apples and Caramel dip. Mmm... 

  

 Tom gave each of the kids a Father's Blessing for their first day of school. 

This is my favorite part of Back to School Eve.

Morning came early. Tom thought the kids would make more friends if they went to school smelling like bacon....so he filled the entire house with bacon smoke. His plan worked and their hair and clothing was saturated with smell of bacon grease. The bonus was that Tom and I also got to smell like bacon when we walked the kids into class. Collectively, I am sure we were quite the stink.

There was also some egg stench thrown into the mix. Tom makes the best eggs...even if they ARE stinky.

Bradley was first to be dropped off.

Oops. I forgot to include something in the picture....

BAM! (Yes...those are the shoes he chose. 

So happy I will never have to worry about losing him in a crowd.

And then Karah. Off to Middle School. 

Pinch me. Is she really that old?

Walking down the Middle School Halls... brave girl.

The day flew by and before I knew it, they were back home telling 

me about all of their first day adventures. 

They were so excited for their back to school dinner party... again, sponsored by Pinterest.

I was so excited to find these adorable Apple napkin rings at Pier 1. 

I got to use my birthday gift certificate that my mama gave me.

The kids loved seeing some of their artwork from previous years.

The fancy dinner was served.

I went to the school cafeteria to buy the milk cartons. 

Why does milk taste so stinking good out of a cardboard box?

This year I decided to stick with a simple dessert of cupcakes with toppers that I made with cake pop sticks and scrapbook "thingys". Can you tell I'm not a scrapbooker?

The kids loved their grade level cupcakes, the best.

It was much easier to get them in bed, that night.

Worn out from their long, exciting day...they were READY for bed.

(Bradley was faking sleep here, I suspect)

Sweet dreams...of the second day.