Dear Little Bear Cubs,
This has been an interesting 3 months. It’s crazy how life can be turned upside down in an instant. No warning. No preparation. Just unexpected chaos. Although the last few weeks have been nothing short of hellacious – I must say that I am grateful for the things I have experienced and learned. I wanted to share some of these things – hoping that you will find some use for it in the trials that, unavoidably, lie ahead in each of your lives.
I am a “Homemaker” – I have always understood that it is a BLESSING to be able to stay home with you guys. I typically referred to myself as a “Stay at Home Mom”. I had always tried to avoid phrases like “Full Time Mom” or “Homemaker” – because I felt that it implied that women who work outside the home are Part Time mothers and don’t “make” their home. In truth, all mothers are Full-Time moms…and all women, regardless of how many hours a day they are home, “make” their homes. However, after going through this experience…I WILL forever refer to myself as a “homemaker”.
The day demolition started – I sat in my office with my sweet friend Courtney and just cried as I heard the sledge hammers pounding into my home. The noise was deafening. It felt like the entire house was shaking. In my tears, I realized how much I love this home. For over ten years, I had “made” this home. I have never been one to believe that a “house is just a house”. To me, our home is part of our family. It is our escape from the rest of the world…our safe place…a sacred place where we share our sweetest words, shed our tears, whisper our hopes and fears, lay our heads, break our bread, and kneel together. It is the only home you little bear cubs have ever known. We brought each of your home from the hospital and walked you room to room and told you about this place. It is truly our nest. I have come to understand the great attachment I have to this place…realizing this “house” has been our labor of love. Yes, “things are things”….but our home is so much more than a “thing” to any of us. And yes, making our home is what I do. I am a homemaker…and I love it.
Daddy Is Wise (but don’t tell him I said so) – I am ashamed to admit that throughout this “event”, I have vacillated between having strong, faithful thoughts…and being filled with doubt, frustration, and self-pity. One conversation I recently had with your Dad opened my eyes to an entirely different way of looking at things. A little background….as soon as our home repairs were finished…we left town for a vacation…which ended with a stomach bug. It traveled through each of us…and my illness has since (currently) evolved into Bronchitis and a sinus infection. I spent Christmas day in the E.R. with my own issues…and Bryce was suffering from the same thing. I had to endure watching my baby get an I.V. on Christmas Day. Not what I had in the plans. My beautiful Christmas dinner was canceled…beautiful plates, chargers, goblets, and candles still sitting on the shelf. It was a low point. Your Daddy stroked my hair as I cried into my pillow and spoke words of faith and comfort to me. I will never forget him telling me that “no matter the catastrophe…we can be happy…because we know God is at work and great blessings are about to come.” He reminded me that Jesus understands my heartache…that he experienced it all. He encouraged me to turn everything over to the Lord. As he spoke, my coughing subsided and I got the first “solid” rest I had in about 48 hours.
It is such a beautiful thing to be married to someone you feel so completely safe with. He scoops me up when I am down…makes me feel heard, protected, and understood. I hope each of you find the same in your future spouse. Life is so much easier with a best friend around. Choose carefully. Very carefully.
Be Positively Pessimistic - I heard a radio show about a blind mountain climber and he talked about the use of “Positive Pessimism”. It has helped countless climbers to keep a light heart and good attitude through the roughest conditions. For instance, they would say, “It’s cold, but at least it’s dark” or “The food’s undercooked, but at least it’s greasy”. Silly things like that. It is something I have been trying to incorporate in my life since I heard the program. “I can’t stop coughing, but at least I am congested.” “I gained 5 pounds, but at least my pants don’t fit”. “The house is demolished but at least we have to eat dinner on our driveway.”
Agatha Christie once said, “I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”
I was talking to a friend about being glad to see 2010 come to an end…but then I realized what I was saying. We had a wonderful year – full of overall health, happiness, prosperity, travel, memories, adventures, and laughter…but because the end of it involved sickness and the flood…I categorically determined 2010 to be a failure of a year. Isn’t that ridiculous? You cannot discount all of the blessings, joy, and beauty of an entire year because you were called to pass through something uncomfortable. 2010 was a fabulous year. We survived this….passed the test…and still managed to laugh every, single day. Agatha is right…just to be ALIVE is a grand thing.
The Sunlight Always Returns - No matter how dark it is – you can always know that the sunlight will return and when it DOES….it will shine brighter than ever before. Post flood – everything that was ruined is now replaced, new and fresh. Everything that was on our Home wish list is now done… something that would have taken years to accomplish was done in a matter of months. It’s all good. Soooo good.
Don’t be Afraid of Trials - “Adversity has ever been considered the state in which a man most easily becomes acquainted with himself.” – Samuel Johnson
I love you little bear cubs. Be patient with me as I figure this “life” thing out. I am dense sometimes….but at least I’m a slow learner. :)
Cheers to another year together! 2011 here we come!!
The Mama Bear
