I am a carrier of the smart mouth gene. There is no speed bump between my brain and mouth. As soon as something enters my mind…BOOM!…the world hears it….uncensored and raw. Very raw (or so they say).
Unfortunately this is not a recessive gene. It’s definitely dominant. It is a legacy I have passed on to Karah…along with my brown eyes and sense of humor :)
It’s a double edged sword she wields. One side…hilarious, quick witted, and carefree. The other side…not-so- hilarious, but quick-witted and carefree. It’s scary, really.
For instance – the other night we were watching the Olympics – Women’s Figure Skating. One of the skater’s kept falling and looked terribly awkward on her skates. In an effort to have something nice to say as it ended….I said, “Well…I like her bun cover” – (in a Grasping at straws voice).
Without hesitation Karah said, “Yeah, maybe she’s a lunch lady and that’s why she’s no good at ice skating.”
That was the funny side of the sword. And now for the not-so funny side.
This morning there was an “incident”.
One hour later…this was delivered to me. You fill in the blanks.
She also attached a poem she had written…to showcase the softer side to her tongue.
Word on the street is that most children turn into little wretches right around the 8th year. I’m just going to chalk this one up to being developmentally right on track.
Bradley is a unique little guy. He has a mind of his own and knows exactly what he wants and what he doesn’t want. As we planned for his birthday, he had very specific instructions. He didn’t want a big party with friends. He wanted little fanfare. He wanted to be relaxed. He is SO his father.
As parents, it was our pleasure to honor his wishes and follow his requests to the very detail.
It started with breakfast in bed. A given. His instructions were:
Turkey bacon, eggs, blueberries, and a cupcake. Oh yes, and NOT to let Daddy carry the tray due to Karah’s breakfast in bed mishap that occurred at his hands.
The boy did not forget.
His other request – that Karah and Bryce also be permitted to eat breakfast in bed with him…and that they get a cupcake too. You should have seen the sheets when they finished. Wow.
They were Super Bowl cupcakes – in honor of the fact he was born on Super Bowl Sunday.
Is he my child? Really? I would so be licking the frosting off my cupcake as I taunted my siblings with it’s goodness. Nope. Not Boo. He wouldn’t have been happy unless he was sharing the moment with his two best friends.
It was not a reverent affair. Just the way Boo likes it.
Bradley’s next request was to go see “Goodnight Moon” and “The Runaway Bunny”…two of his favorite stories from back in the day.
His request: Only his “girlfriend” and sister be invited. He also permitted Grandma to join him. (Bryce was not available due to his nap schedule).
Yes, Bradley has a girlfriend. Her name is Rhiannon. She is 13 and a fine catch. She likes younger men. She was so sweet to give up her Saturday to make a little boy’s dreams come true. He adores her. What teenager gives a little boy the time of day? This one. She is a special girl.
I decorated the car with window paint and we enjoyed honks from other cars…all the way to the show.
They were allowed to wear their pajamas to the performance. Bradley’s natural habitat is the PJ. Every day after preschool, he comes home and immediately changes into them…he’s like Mister Rogers.
Grandma joined us for the show. He loved having her attention, too.
Even with all of the excitement – he still had time to love on his Mama.
His request: To sit between his sister and his girlfriend.
The show was great. The actors let the kids ask questions after it was over.
While we were away…Tommy T got busy decorating. He took it very seriously...as you can see below. He actually isn’t a total pervert. Those two balloons were actually mutants and connected together in the middle. He couldn’t resist hanging them.
I was impressed with the remainder of his artistic prowess.
Bradley’s requests: Punching Balloons, party blowers, goody bags, and a Monster Truck cake. Tom filled the order.
Bradley’s next wish: Dinner at Red Robin. Land of the Onion Ring. Grandpa met up with us after the show.
They came and sang to him and delivered the huge sundae. What followed was typical Bradley. I almost tear’d up in the restaurant when he did this. He is an amazing little boy.
We went home for the cake, ice cream, and presents with Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Bart, Aunt Josie, and cousin Dave.
His gifts consisted of a plethora of monster trucks and cars…a sled (for him and his sister…per his request)…a new bike.
He played until he passed out in his bed. Exhausted…satisfied…and knowing he is everything to us.
My bickies are stuffed back in the saddle and I am resuming the battle of "my bulge". I have been trying to follow the regimen and be a good girl.
Bradley's birthday lent itself to the indulgence of a small-ish piece of Monster Truck birthday cake. After the party, I scraped the leftovers into the trash...panicked that the cake would still be on the counter in the morning, taunting and calling out to me...with thoughts of cold milk filling my head. Yes, the trash was where it belonged.
Later that night...I almost....ALMOST hit rock bottom and resorted to THIS...
So close, in fact, that I removed the cake from the trash...threw it in the sink and saturated it's spongy goodness with dirty dish water...just as a safety precaution.
Seriously Pathetic. Though not as pathetic if I had actually eaten it, I suppose. That would have done wonders for the self-esteem.
When I asked him what he wanted for his Birthday...he said ,
"I want Karah to have a sled...and one for me, too."
This boy was born that way.
Never have I known a child that considers the feelings of others like he does.
The little man cub has more empathy than most adults have.
Yesterday I was ready to go to the gym...and it's been a looooong time since I have been.
I was visibly "not excited" about it....and was in serious need of a pep talk.
Bradley said, "Mama. Listen to me. You can do this. Just go to the gym and squeeze the fat out and I promise your bickies will get smaller...and I will squeeze 'em!!!"
I went to the gym and thought about him as I worked out.
He is such a good friend to me....a son...and a friend.
He is a mini Tommy T.
Same lips.
Same heart.
Bradley always tells me he wants to grow up and be a Daddy.
He doesn't understand how much he already IS just like Daddy.
More Bradley gushings to follow on his official Birthday post....
