Draw Nearer - For Karah

Sweet Karah,

You had your 8th birthday over a month ago…but I have yet to write about it. I have attempted writing, numerous times, in fact. It seems that every time I try to express my feelings about your 8th birthday and baptism – my heart freezes up, as if to lock every precious emotion inside…kept safe and sound…never to escape or to be lost. Perhaps it is just the fact that I lack the ability to express what IS inside my heart. How do I attach words to the emotions that are so sacred and dear to me?

I imagined into the future… picturing you coming back to flip through one of your “family blog books”…searching to read about your special day and finding nothing. For that reason, I will attempt to express my joy to you…hoping that you understand that what you read is only a portion of what I feel.

 

My life changed the day you were born. As soon as I held you, I couldn’t remember life before you. It was like you had always been there – that I had always known you – always wanted you – and always loved you. I became a Mama that day. I promised myself that I would always be the best mama I could be. Many times I have fallen short…but you have forgiven me and loved me despite my many maternal imperfections :) My mom told me that as soon as you went to Kindergarten, time would speed up and the years would fly by. If only I had believed her. I would have held you tighter. Rocked you longer. Let the dishes wait while I read you one more story.

Time did fly --- despite my chasing after it and begging for it to slow down. Before I knew it…8 years had passed and you were going to be baptized on the day you were born.

It was not an automatic assumption that you would be baptized just because you turned 8. It was a decision that you made…and one that you were ready for. Baptism is a sacred covenant to be taken seriously, and you did. You bore your testimony in church a few weeks before your baptism and spoke of the things you know to be true. You were prepared and understood the promises you were going to make at your baptism.

Your Daddy was so excited to baptize you. I loved seeing you together – dressed in white – loving each other.

Your baptism and confirmation were beautiful. It was surreal. The room was completely full of people who love you.

I made a special video for you that we played at your baptism. I watched it 100 times before that night so I wouldn’t cry my eyes out. I was victorious – my eyes stayed dry UNTIL you reached over and held my hand during the video….then they got wet…really fast. Your Grandma Susan gave a sweet talk about baptism and Grandpa Joe talked to you about the Holy Ghost. It was so special…you could feel their love.

Everyone wrote sweet notes to you at your baptism – and you got to keep them in your special baptism box.

A continuation of that love came in the form of refreshments :) “Angel” asked if she could provide the dessert at your baptism as her gift to you. She knows how you love fruit – so she made miniature fruit pizzas for everyone. She also made little, pink bags with the letter “K” punched out – which held delicious, white chocolate covered snack mix that she made. NiNi made the yummy punch and Grandma brought a veggie tray because she knows how you love healthy food. It was all sooo good.

You gave your last hugs we headed out to the parking lot for one last surprise from Heavenly Father…

On the other end of the horizon, there was a rainbow coming down…

It was unreal. I know the heavens were happy that evening.

We went home and topped our dessert off with another dessert (birthday’s are special like that). We had some Razzleberry pie and opened gifts. Grandma Allred then had 8 special gifts for you…your favorite was your American Girl doll in a white dress like your baptism dress. It was a beautiful ending to a perfect day.

I hope you always remember this special day and the promises you made. The covenants you made will be such a blessing to you throughout your life as you stay close to Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. There is real power in these promises. As you make mistakes throughout your life…as all of us do…I pray that you will know that you are loved by Heavenly Father no matter what…and that there is always forgiveness because of what Christ did for you.

One of my favorite scriptures is in Romans Chapter 8…that tells of the love God has for each of us…

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Nay,in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

   I am so thankful for the covenants I have made in my life – and for the peace, joy, and protection they have given me. Above all, I am beyond grateful for the temple covenants I made with your Daddy and that we are sealed together as a family….forever. There is no greater joy…than this.

I love you, Karah. Someday – when you have a little one of your own…you will begin to understand how much.

XO,

The Mama Bear

p.s. – now that I finally did this…the rest of your birthday post can come tomorrow :)