Life Lessons

Today was a pretty crappy day. I have had a health issue arise that I have been worried about this past week. I went to the Doctor to get checked out.  While the Doctor  is optimistic that there is nothing to worry about…I  have still allowed my mind to go to those dark places - where the worst is yet to be. I have spent the day feeling sorry for myself – worrying – and accomplishing a whole lotta nothing.

This afternoon, Karah was suddenly screaming for my help. Bradley had flipped over the handlebars of his bike. I found him bloodied – with a gaping hole inside his bottom lip. One finger was bruised and swollen…we feared it was broken.

He had road rash all over his face.

He screamed and sobbed as I attempted to clean the gravel out of his wounds. I was forced to control all emotion and face the task at hand…comforting my son and getting him medical attention. I couldn’t decide which wound to begin cleaning…they were that numerous…from head to toes.

Tom rushed home and we drove him to the ER. As I sat in the back seat of the truck with Bradley, I again, let me mind go to the place of self-pity. “Why did this have to happen today?” ------ I found myself asking Heavenly Father why he would add this to everything else I had been through today….on a day I felt so ill-equipped to handle it. I sat thinking how cruel it was that Bradley had to go through this…he is so little…and this was so traumatic.

Neal A. Maxwell said, “Hence when God is actually lifting us up, we may feel He is letting us down.” This was one of those times. At the precise moment that I felt so let down…I was actually about to be lifted up.

Bradley put on his brave face in the waiting room…and once out of his line of vision…my tears started falling. The guilt for not making sure he was wearing shoes and his helmet. The “What if I Had’s” and the “What if I Had Not’s” flooded my mind. I rushed to the bathroom to pull myself together – trying to erase any evidence of my tears. I didn’t want him to see any fear…just a calm assurance that everything was going to be okay.

He was patient throughout his exam and x-rays. It was miraculous that his little finger hadn’t been broken. I was relieved to hear that they weren’t going to stitch the inside of the mouth. I had been sick at the thought of holding him through that pain. He was pretty beaten up…but his little spirit was still full of light and hope. He talked about what he wanted to do for his 18th Birthday party while we waited for the Dr. to return.

Tom bought him a bottled water to sip as the nurse cleaned all of his wounds. On the way home we stopped to get him a shake from Chick-fil-A with some nuggets.

From the back seat, he announced, “This is the best day of my life! I got a water, a shake with four cherries in it, and chicken nuggets…and tomorrow I get a toy!”

I looked back in amazement at what I had just heard. There sat a bloodied and bruised little boy…and with a swollen lip, proclaiming his love for this day.

Life lesson learned.

Before bed, Bradley gave Karah this letter…

(“You are the best sister. Thank U for saving me. BFF. I LOVE You.”)

And she gave one to him…

After the kids were all asleep, Tom and I sat down for some nasty take-out BBQ. We talked about how we need to be more child-like…having the faith to find the good in every situation – even the painful ones. We discussed how we should even be thankful for our gross BBQ…when so many in the world don’t know where their next meal is going to come from. It tasted better after that.

I do believe that there is purpose in everything we are called to endure. Brigham Young said, “We understand only in part why we are required to pass through various incidents of life – yet there is not a single condition of life and not one hour’s experience but what is beneficial to all those who make it their study, and aim to improve upon the experience they gain.”

So…the question I posed to Heavenly Father….of “Why today?”….”Why Bradley?” had been answered.

Because He loves me enough to recognize where peace can be found….in the presence of faith and gratitude…and because only my child would be able to teach me.

And because this would be the ONLY way to teach Bradley that I am not lying when I say he needs his helmet and shoes.

Dual Purposes Served. Off to bed…hoping for a better perspective tomorrow.