Dear Tom,I am still missing you. Just when I think I can't miss any deeper...I excavate another layer and find it IS possible. Despite all of my missing, I woke up happy today. I made a great realization.
I have progressed.
The first Mother's Day we ever spent together, I remember "expecting" you to do something for me because I "would be" the mother of your babies. You hadn't received the rule book of marriage and you were unprepared to meet my unexpressed expectations. I believe there were tears and obnoxious, immature words on my part. You ended up doing special things for me that year...I got my ridiculous way.
In all of the years in between - and after having babies - you have been so good to me every year. Breakfast in bed...complete with flowers on my tray....giving me time out alone....sending me on trips....thoughtful gifts....massages, planting my tomatoes with the kids....homemade cards....love letters...Kisses and words of admiration and appreciation. Giving me more than I deserve.
This year is different. Ten years later, I spend this weekend alone. There will be no special date night tonight. No breakfast in bed tomorrow. No fanfare (though I LOVED the flowers you sent me across the miles). No trip to the spa today. No "day off". Just me and the kids.
I have spent the last week alone as you have been in Kansas City caring for your mother and will spend the majority of the next week alone, as well. I want you to know that this opportunity has brought me such happiness.
I woke up today, realizing that I am no longer that ridiculously selfish girl that you married. I expect nothing. I need no fanfare or homage paid to me. You are giving me the most precious gift as you are away taking care of your post surgery mother.
In serving and caring for your mother - you are teaching our kids how to treat me...how to care for me...and respect me. You set a beautiful example to them of how to honor their parents...and give selflessly. It is the ultimate gift. I knew when I dated you - how much you love your mother. This is one of the reasons I knew you were the one for me...the way you loved her.
It is beautiful that you are able to serve her in her time of need...after the years of sacrifice she has given on your behalf.
At a time in my life when I am struggling to feel like I am making progress in other areas...it has been such a blessing to me this week...to see how far I have come. I am so happy to leave that childish side behind...and embrace the things that matter most.
I have also come to realize that this weekend is no big deal to me because EVERY DAY is Mother's Day. You make me feel treasured and appreciated day in and day out. There is no need for me to be officially placed on an honorary pedestal. I dwell (unworthily) on one every day.
Thank you for loving your mother. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for what you are to our kids.
I miss you terribly...but am thankful for the blessing this has been.
Can't wait to kiss your juicy lips!
Sarah LBC
In all of the years in between - and after having babies - you have been so good to me every year. Breakfast in bed...complete with flowers on my tray....giving me time out alone....sending me on trips....thoughtful gifts....massages, planting my tomatoes with the kids....homemade cards....love letters...Kisses and words of admiration and appreciation. Giving me more than I deserve.
This year is different. Ten years later, I spend this weekend alone. There will be no special date night tonight. No breakfast in bed tomorrow. No fanfare (though I LOVED the flowers you sent me across the miles). No trip to the spa today. No "day off". Just me and the kids.
I have spent the last week alone as you have been in Kansas City caring for your mother and will spend the majority of the next week alone, as well. I want you to know that this opportunity has brought me such happiness.
I woke up today, realizing that I am no longer that ridiculously selfish girl that you married. I expect nothing. I need no fanfare or homage paid to me. You are giving me the most precious gift as you are away taking care of your post surgery mother.
In serving and caring for your mother - you are teaching our kids how to treat me...how to care for me...and respect me. You set a beautiful example to them of how to honor their parents...and give selflessly. It is the ultimate gift. I knew when I dated you - how much you love your mother. This is one of the reasons I knew you were the one for me...the way you loved her.
It is beautiful that you are able to serve her in her time of need...after the years of sacrifice she has given on your behalf.
I have also come to realize that this weekend is no big deal to me because EVERY DAY is Mother's Day. You make me feel treasured and appreciated day in and day out. There is no need for me to be officially placed on an honorary pedestal. I dwell (unworthily) on one every day.
Thank you for loving your mother. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for what you are to our kids.
I miss you terribly...but am thankful for the blessing this has been.
Can't wait to kiss your juicy lips!
Sarah LBC
I'm sorry your husband won't be with you to celebrate Mother's Day, but good for you for supporting him as he helps his own Mother. He will leave a lasting impression with your kids to remember.
ReplyDeleteSadly, after this morning I think i'm still in the early stage. I cried all day. Seriously. I couldn't get it together. At one point, aaron brought me the phone with my mom on the like so she could talk me out of bed. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe I"m just immature!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post, I have hope that I won't care so much about the little things in the future so much that it prevents me from enjoying what could be a wonderful day!
Lunch. Tuesday!