Too Much of a Good Thing

I dream....vividly.
Okay, I actually act out my dreams....with my sleeping body.

Some of the favorites have been:

• Coal Miner. Standing in the corner - mining coal with a pick Axe...trying to save my comrades. (Cause: Miners trapped in coal mine on Fox News before bed)

• Speed Skater. Hunching down and speed skating like Apolo Anton - on the way to the bathroom (cause: Winter Olympic overdose)

• The assault. Let me set the backdrop for this one: I was a young teenager...sleeping in a hotel room with my family...I have a nightmare of an intruder and lay screaming in bed. My brother John stands over me - shaking me - trying to wake me up from my (typical) night terror. My Dad wakes up to find John shaking me while I scream...thinking he is attacking me. He comes from behind to pull John off of me. John thinks that the movement behind him is an intruder in the room - and that is why I'm screaming...so he turns around and punches my dad directly in the chest - knocking him on his bed and leaving him in a heap of wheezing goo. (Cause: The therapist hasn't gotten back to me on this one - but I suspect it has something to do with the unhealthy amount of fear my mother instilled in me as a child.)

A brief sampling: "Don't stick your hand out of the car window like that! A man could be hiding in the bushes with a knife and cut it off!" or another favorite, "A man in our neighborhood dressed up like a UPS man and came after a girl with a knife! Don't answer the door if the UPS man comes!" (I still grab the butcher knife before I answer the door to sign for a package).

Tom once said, "I used to try to wake you up when you would have a night terror...now, I just duck and roll."

• Verbal Abuse. I lose all control over what I say when I am sleeping. Many a night Tom has witnessed me chiding him like a schoolyard bully ..telling him to wipe himself....or accusing him of lying about shutting the garage door, calling him a "lying bastard". (Cause: I'm just TOO nice during the day...)
  

• Lifeguard. I have tried to dive into imaginary pools to save my drowning children. Those pools are always VERY shallow. (Cause: Fox News Drowning story)
  

The list goes on and on.
And last night I added a new one.

• The water slide. Reports are that Tom received an unexpected double handed shove that was forceful enough to leave him hanging off the edge of the bed. A visit to the chiropractor is now in order. I dreamt that I was pushing him down a water slide and he was too big for "the hole" and was wedged. He was heavy and wasn't moving - so I gave him an extra hard push to send him on his way. Apparently, I did. (Cause: Greatwolf Lodge....Too Much of A Good Thing)
  

Greatwolf Violated

Bryce has Hand, Foot, and Mouth....not just the body parts...the "virus".


He came down with it the day before we were supposed to leave for Kansas City to visit the "Greatwolf Lodge" with the kids. Everything had been paid for in advance - so we were locked in.

Tom volunteered to stay home with Bryce while I took Karah and Bradley on the trip...so they wouldn't have to miss out. Tom suggested we invite some friends to go with us...so we chose my friend Anne and her twin daughters, Mary and Rebecca.

Tom was already in K.C. on business - so we decided to meet halfway and switch off Bryce. He picked Bryce up and drove him back home...while the rest of us headed to Greatwolf.
It was sad driving away in different directions.
I so wanted them to be there with us.

We arrived at the Lodge and the kids were in awe of everything there was to explore.

I must admit I was a little disturbed by the wolves on the fireplace.
Were they bolted down or balancing?
How could they ever dust them?
The thought of the "taxidermied" dust mites was more than I could handle.

I refocused my mental energy and we headed to our Kid Cabin room.
It was a hotel room with a cabin within it...just for the kids...complete with their own TV that only plays kid approved channels!

After they had "moved in" they were quick to suit up so we could hit the slides.

The kids had a blast on the slides...some were pretty intense - but they hung in there!
(water pictures to follow...I have to actually develop the film from the water camera)



The general public received a free "goodie" when the 1000 gallon bucket of water dumped on me and ripped my bathing suit from my left breast.
Sadly, nobody threw me any beads.
Got a few smiles though ;)

They swam.. and slid...and floated until they were completely pruned.

A nasty thunderstorm came through - so we decided to order take-out.

The kids jammied up

.
..enjoyed dinner...and explored the hotel.




We even found a private area designated for wrestling.



A treat from the hotel's sweet shoppe and they were finally ready for bed.



The next morning we enjoyed breakfast at the "Camp Critter Grille" .

After that we headed to our spa appointments.
Yes, our.
The Lodge has a kiddie spa, too.

They took us into the relaxation room for a little cucumber water.
It was their first time...but somehow they knew they should be crossing their legs.


We decided to get pedicures.
Bradley practiced being a "husband" and patiently watched until they were finished.

I went to the "grown up" room for mine...


While they went to the "Scoops Spa" in the other room.

They were too cute.


So big.


So...So...Big.


And evidently....comfortable.

...DEFINITELY proud of their new toes.


The kids and I took a lunch break at Grandma's.
She had a sweet birthday celebration for us since she had missed our birthday's due to recent health issues.


The kids loved it.


We opened gifts and visited and played...topping it off with hugs and kisses goodbye.

We headed back to the Lodge for several more hours of water fun.
They then spent their final hour exploring with their magic wands...


It sadly came to an end...and we had to say "goodbye".


p.s.
The sadness soon transformed into guilt the next morning when I woke up at home.
Karah and Bradley had sore throats and blisters on their hands.
We had just unknowingly violated the Greatwolf Lodge with Hand, Foot, and Mouth.

Sorry about dat, Mr. Wolf, really.

**Stay away...for at least a couple of weeks ...'til the virus has been filtered out :)**

Little Men

The Marker Beard.

He was disappointed when he found out he doesn't get to shave it off.

The Guardsman

Protecting and Defending my posterity since he could reach.

Thrice Blessed

Fathers Day 2009

Unfortunately, the memories of my Father are limited.He passed away when I was 8 years old.
However, it seems the more I "let" my mind go back to him...the more I recall. It's amazing to me the things that have remained indelible in my mind.

The smell of his big, puffy winter coat...and the way the fur hood felt against my face as he hugged me when he returned home from work. The feel of his whiskers at the end of the day.
Sometimes I touch Tom's just to "go back"- if only for a moment.
His "silly" faces...as seen above :)

I don't remember the sound of his voice...but I do remember how I felt when he spoke to me... important, treasured, and loved. Sometimes I am content with limited memories of him...
considering how painful it can be, as it is. I miss him terribly - but catch glimpses of him from time to time...

My children's sense of humor.
The sound of the instrumental "Music Box Dancer" on the radio.
Charleston Chews or the smell of popcorn.
Tom watching M.A.S.H late at night.
The sound of a train.
Looking in the mirror - and seeing his nose...and crooked smile.
Watching Tom play with our kids... and knowing that my Dad loved us -
the way Tom loves them.


I am blessed with abundant memories of my other Dad, "Joe"....
or as I love to call him, "Pappy".
For 25 years he has been in our life.
Quiet, reserved, with a fabulous sense of humor.
He sacrificed so much in order to raise us.
We were a handful...but he still chose us...
and I am so glad that he did. I love him.

Sometimes I think that I married a combination of my two Dads.
The best of both of them.
I seriously question how I could have been so blessed with such a great father to my children. They know him.
They treasure every second they have with him.
Everything he does - is for them....us.
Selfless, playful, hardworking, and a powerful example to my children...
of what men can and should be.
We gave him a photo book for Father's Day with a quote on the front:

"He didn't tell me how to live...he lived and let me watch him do it."

I am so grateful for the "Fathers" in my life...

Thrice Loved.
Thrice Blessed.

YOE Date Night: Peas and Balls

Sometimes for YOE, we venture out to a new restaurant we have always "wondered" about. Last night was one of those nights. For years and years we have driven past "Glasgows" and were perplexed. Tiny, run down, hole in the wall...yet the parking lot was full of expensive cars. Drug dealers or the best kept secret in town? Very rarely did we ever pass without commenting on how curious we were.

Last night, Tommy T and I decided that it was time to get answers. We pulled up and there were only redneck cars in the parking lot. Hmmm? The sign advertised "Mexican and American". Hmmm?

We entered to find dark, wood paneled walls. The carpet (yes, carpet) was red. There were vinyl booths available - or tables with fabric tablecloths...complete with paper place mats. The people occupying those tables and booths matched the cars in the parking lot. Hmmmm?

As we were seated by the 15 year old in a push-up bra, we were quick to notice that every waitress was bitter. They had long hair that almost reached their voluptuous bickies....and scowls on their faces you couldn't imagine.

The menu bragged "Family owned and operated since 1964". We got excited...knowing that SOMETHING had to be good about this place if it was going to stay open for 40+ years!

We ordered.

Tommy T: One Taco and the Steakburger (he wanted both the American and Mexican)
Me: "The El Paso " (in honor of where we met)....Taco, Enchilada, Tamale

The chips and salsa came...eventually. I received third degree burns to my throat. Note to Glasgows....pureed tomatoes soaking in hot sauce is NOT salsa. The chips were the king you get in the big brown bag at Walmart.

Tom's salad came. We shared it. Not bad...minus the package of Ranch they brought. Never a good sign when restaurants bring you a "packet" of Kraft.

Then came the tacos. Yes...those come separate. Two bites. One to taste. The second, only to confirm that we were grossed out. Tom took a third bite just to confirm the flavor. "That's Hormel out of a can", he said as he tossed his taco back on his plate.

Our dinners came. His consisted of a huge beef patty- wrapped in a piece of bacon fat...french fries...and a cup of canned peas.

Mine: Rice, Beans, and a pile of lettuce and tomatoes. The rest of the tamale and enchilada were hiding under it.

Tom peeled that fatty bacon off the burger and took a bite. He grimaced as he gulped. The second bite didn't make it down his throat....it was spit out into a napkin. The fries...were fries. Nothing traumatic.

I ate my rice, which was fine. The enchilada was also Hormel, stuffed. Only a bite. The tamale was a beast. The ground corn exterior was about 3/4 of an inch thick....with a polka dot of meat filling. One bite for me. I swallowed it without fanfare just so I could trick Tom into tasting it. He gagged and said (very loudly) "They got this stuff from the school district!"

I could NOT control myself. I believe I was even snorting, as I laughed. The ironic part was that the waitresses ALL looked like the angry lunch ladies I knew as a child...minus the hair nets, which they could have used.

The peas stared at Tom. He was determined to experience the entire meal. He took a spoonful into his mouth as a look of panic rushed across his face. He wasn't joking or being melodramatic. He was going. to. vomit. He swallowed them in fear that any "spitting motion" could trigger a "vomituous" explosion all over the velvety carpet. He leaned back in his chair...not laughing...but with a look of honest nausea on his face. He said that his stomach was still knotted up.

He DEMANDED that I try them. "NO!!!!", I protested. "You HAVE to try them to know what I just went through. It's YOE! You HAVE to try them!"

I took "ah" pea out of his bowl. The peas were fat and bloated and pale green. As I bit into the luke warm pea....it imploded in my mouth. I don't have to document the flavor....we have all experienced a canned pea.....BUT THE TEXTURE!!! OMG. It was like ONE pea contained a TABLESPOON of luke warm sludge. Tom EASILY had to have had 1/3 C. in his mouth from an entire spoonful.

ONE PEA and I had a simultaneous flash of expired baby food and nursing home smoothies.

We laughed ourselves out of the restaurant and solved the mystery of why there were no nice cars there. Glasgows sits right next to the Doubletree...where the business travelers stay during the week. The business travelers who have nice cars....who are tired...and see a restaurant next door...an innocently go - only to experience what we did.

We were there on a Friday night....they had all gone home. Only the "locals" were left.

After that we headed to the driving range and both hit a bucket of balls. It was great to go again...it had been years. Tons of fun...and I didn't do too bad. Better than my friend "Nacho", I'm sure :)

I love YOE nights. If we had gone to Red Robin...we would never have remembered last night....but thanks to the peas and balls....we will NEVER forget.

(why will Blogger not let me un-bold?)

Evolution

This MIGHT make a believer out of me.

(notice McDonald's bag...the root cause of
every dimpled butt in America)

Anyone up for a boycott?

Draw Nearer

Little Bear Cubs,
A couple of weeks ago I went to Kansas City with Courtney for a little girls weekend. We had a nice hotel room...appointments made at the spa...and tickets to go see Glenn Beck. As you know, I love him....Hannity, Rush....the whole gang. I was so excited to go see him in person - but as it drew closer I felt more hesitant about going. Courtney and I discussed it and even prayed about it - wanting to know the Lord's will for us and what would be best. We both received the answer that it wasn't what our spirits needed at that point. We chose not to go. Some would say we "wasted" our money - but perhaps it was a price worth paying - in order to pass the test of heeding the promptings of the spirit.

Anyway, I have decided since then that I need to consider all forms of my "entertainment" and seek things out that are going to lift me...and maybe cut back on the things that cause me anxiety, worry, and anger.

Joseph F. Smith said:
"The leaders of the people should never disseminate a spirit of gloom in the hearts of the people. If men standing in high places sometimes feel the weight and anxiety of momentous times, they should be all the firmer and all the more resolute in those convictions which come from a God-fearing conscience and pure lives....It is a matter of the greatest importance that the people be educated to appreciate and cultivate the bright side of life rather than to permit its darkness and shadows to hover over them."

Jesus, despite the countless challenges he faced, always counseled his followers to "be of good cheer" (Matthew 14:27)

In the words of Will Durant.....historian and philosopher..... in order to find happiness amidst the turmoil in life....discernment is crucial. He emphasized the need for perspective when he said, "Know that the little things are little, and the big things big, before it is too late; we want to see things now as they will seem forever - in the light of eternity."

I will be making a greater effort to embrace this perspective....choosing to walk in the light and hope of Christ....recognizing things for what they really are....always remembering that you, little bear cubs, are the big things in life.

I love you more than every Conservative talk show host in the world....times ten zillion,

The Mama Bear

The Great Escape

A Mother's Love from sarah allred on Vimeo.

35

Yesterday I was the birthday girl.
35.
Weird.

You see...ever since I turned 15 -
I haven't stopped feeling (or acting) like I was 15.

I am blessed with a husband who not only understands this...but takes great pleasure in helping me feel young.

On the morning of my birthday, I slept in and was awakened by Tommy T and the little bear cubs....bringing me breakfast in bed.


I loved it.
Tommy T is a gifted egg cooker.

There was a lot of love in that breakfast.

He then told me to throw on a bra and some flip flops.
I was concerned where he was taking me - fresh out of bed.

He covered my eyes and took me outside to the driveway.
He uncovered them and I was shocked to find two of these:

One in black...one in red.

The average 35 year old woman would think, "What in the hell?"
Not I.

My mind instantly flashed to the conversation I had with Tom - where I told him that I would LOVE to have scooters to take to Eureka Springs....to ride around the neighborhood together...just to have fun on.
You know... typical thought process of a 35 year old going on 16.

Well- he made my dream come true.


We are now the proud owners of 2009 Honda Ruckus scooters.
Words canNOT express how thrilled I am to have a scooter that is named "Ruckus".
That quite possibly is the BEST word in the English language.
"Ruckus".

We were racing them around the hood when Maren showed up with fresh whole wheat bread and homemade strawberry jam.
I love this woman.
She could not resist the beckoning call of the Ruckus and she succumbed.


Her inhibitions were tossed to the wind. She felt unruly and free. For a moment I was afraid she was going to take her bra off...but she conquered the impulse.

Tommy T had arranged for Uncle John to come babysit the kids while we took our scooters to lunch on the square. The ruckus also beckoned to John....and before he knew it - he was zipping around the neighborhood. The Ruckus drew perfect posture out of him. He was a masterpiece.


Anyway, Tom and I drove to the square. Yes....I drove this thing in real traffic...laughing my butt off the entire time.

We enjoyed lunch outdoors at the Table Mesa.
Our lunch conversation was dominated by the debate of whether of not we were officially members of the motorcycle club - and whether or not they would wave at US...like they do each other.

Tom was QUICK to tell me how Pete (a "real" biker from work) was humiliated by the thought of a scooter and that we shouldn't wave at the real bikers...we would only be rejected.

Well, as fate would have it....on the way home...I came to a stop sign where a Honda Goldwing was parked. A "real" motorcycle. The female owner looked at me and I quickly threw down a biker wave at her. Not just the flash of a hand...this was an intentional, forceful, borderline jazz hands wave.

She stared at me with disgust and did NOT wave back.
Tom was about 15 feet behind me and I could hear him wailing with laughter. We laughed the entire way home...almost to the point of it being a safety hazard.

Courtney came by that afternoon with a gorgeous photo album completely filled with pictures I had taken. She had "stolen" them off my computer during babysitting visits. It was precious to me - the time she took to do that for me. I love her.

My mom stopped by with a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond (my fav!)...and one of the sweetest birthday cards I have ever received. Josie and Bart came over to hang a bit later...when we all decided to head to the pool.

In rebellion of turning 35 - I went down the water slide and did fancy dives off the diving boards...with all of the other children. Not only did I do a dive....I prefaced it with gymnastic hands that are commonly seen at the beginning of an Olympic floor routine. The crowd of 8 year olds was mesmerized by my skillz.

I came home to find my bicycle...not to be confuse with my Ruckus...sitting in the driveway with bows on it. He had new tires put on it....after an unfortunate blow out the other day. Word on the street is you shouldn't mount a bike that has been hanging in your garage for 5 years. Apparently the rubber erodes. You fill tires...mount bike...and then the neighbors come running outside when they hear a shotgun blast. They scream, "What happened?" and you get the pleasure of explaining that you just sat on your bike and exploded a tire.
Great for the self esteem.

I also found these:
My sweet friend Katie had brought them by when I was gone.
I love her, too.

Tom grilled burgers for dinner and then presneted me wtih my cake from my favorite cake shop. It was chocolate - strawberry filled.

I love that he even makes birthday cake meaningful.

I opened my cards.....best I had ever received.

We tucked the kids in - sitter arrived- and we headed to the movies with friends (Anne, Katie and Norman, Courtney and Todd, Kasey and Jimmie, Josie and Bart)

Land of the Lost.
An artistic masterpiece. Okay, not really.

It couldn't have been a better birthday.
Who knew turning 35 could be so fun?

Thank you Tom...for knowing me...and loving me...so perfectly.