Taunting the police.

I had the BEST date night with Karah tonight. The best. We went to dinner at the gas station.....not what you're thinking (hot dogs and pre-fabbed bologna sandwiches). This was a "market" that happens to sell gas outside. Sells high end groceries, has a grill, salad bar, GELLATO!!!!

We headed to the mall for some last minute Christmas shopping - and while wandering through the Men's Department - she hit her sugar high from her Apple Turnover. She started chasing after me and poking me in the butt (hole vicinity) yelling "Stingray!"

I eventually warded her off.....amidst the dirty looks from the unamused. I decided to take out a second mortgage and pay Dillards to wrap everything we bought. While waiting at the gift wrap counter, I noticed that one of the gift wrappers was wearing a gun, badge and a walkie talkie.

I said, "Wow. This is the first time my gift wrapper has been armed." We started talking and somehow he posed the question to me and his fellow gift wrappers, "Is it better to have money or love?"

He said it was better to have money because it makes you happy with everything. If you have love - you are only happy with ONE thing.

I interrupted, one of my talents, and said ,"It is better to have love - because it makes you feel happy about everything else...."

He said, "No, No.....no love.....just the money!"

I then remarked...."Sounds like the Po-Po's a little bitter."
His gift wrapping posse died laughing with approving nods - like they were all well aware of his "issues".

He later asked Karah what she wanted from Santa to which she replied, "I dont know." He said "How is that possible that a 6 year old doesn't remember what they want?" I was quick to asnwer, "Because she has love. The rest doesn't matter."

He walked us to our car - since we were weighed down with packages - and it was pitch black outside. Tom says that he was just wanting to get our tag number so he could stalk us tonight.

We then went to walmart for the after hours freak show. Walmart never lets me down. If I worked for walmart advertising, I would call for an ad overhaul. Instead of having the Caucasian, Asian, African Amercian, Indian (both with a dot AND a feather), handicapped, and Latino children.....all on the front cover of the circular.......I would propose that they put the CUSTOMERS on.

It would be complete with the geriatric- clipping someones heels with their cart.......the teenager in a lime green Santa suit, the guy with the creepy eyes who tells you he likes your hair, the angry person on the scooter - whose battery died on aisle 8.......the push up bra chick.....who ironically only chooses item on the BOTTOM shelf......the stock boy - who is really a 50 year old man - who asks you twelve times if you are finding everything alright....in their manliest voice.....the put-out.....who constantly huff and puff as they roll down the aisles......and don't forget ME!.....the irresponsible parent who drags their elementary school aged child to the store in the middle of the night....

I saw Matt and Stacie at Walmart tonight - and while we were talking, I heard the NASTIEST hack sneeze- that reverberated through the entire store. Karah said "WHAT WAS THAT???" to which I responded...."THAT was a NASTY MAN hack sneezing!" Stacie started shaking her head "No" and looking behind me. Who was there? A tiny little old woman. The hacker.

Of course she also checked out behind us in line.

Karah and I laughed and laughed tonight. I had more fun with her that I could have had with anyone else.....minus Stingray, of course.