The Trifecta

When I was in Junior High, the smell of popcorn would occasionally fill the halls of the school. It was a common household scent - but transplanting it to a different "setting" made it seem out of the ordinary....almost mysterious. Amazing how one bag of popcorn in the teachers lounge could fill the halls with speculation over whether there was going to be a "popcorn party" or if it was just some disgruntled teacher - taunting us with their microwave popcorn..

I relived this same phenomenon yesterday while at Walmart. I was walking into the juice and milk section when all of the sudden I hit a brick wall of a familiar scent. I immediately identified the odor - and quickly realized that I should not be smelling it in a grocery store. Just like it was odd to smell popcorn in school.....it was odd to smell urine in the milk section of a grocery store.

I stopped dead in my tracks, eyes darting across the floor in search of the perpetrating puddle. After the vomit in the drinking fountain experience - nothing could surprise me....nothing but THIS. As my eyes lifted I saw a little old woman with a very full diaper bulging out of her polyester slacks. Bingo. I had found the source of the odor. No big deal, right?

Well it was. She wasn't casually shopping with a full diaper....she had abandoned her cart - grabbed hold to the day-old bread rack and was bearing down and grunting. The bread rack had been violated as it was being treated as the handle bars in the handicapped stall.

Having a few kids, I totally understand the loss of bladder control. I get it. I empathize. I am fully aware that I will be in a diaper before I am 60. I do not mock it. I, however, will not use my diaper as a "port-o-potty"......I will use mine as a "bridge" until I can make it to the restroom in Layaway.

I vote that diapers are for little leaks....they do not give license to stop mid-store and empty everything. They are your friend until the proper destination is reached....meaning restroom - NOT bread rack.

First the vomit.....now the public pooper.....what will be next to complete the "Walmart Trifecta"?

Any bets?

p.s.
I miss "real" grocery stores...the ones that don't double as carnivals. Krogers, Smiths, Albertsons.....I long for you.