Friday, August 28, 2009

Mommy Secrets


I once read a book that had a profound impact on the way that I mother....
"12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know" by Michele Borba. (Click for more info).

One of the secrets of mothering was:
"A Mother who is firm and fair gives her children a moral code to live by."

This is based on setting consistent limits and standards of behavior so "your child learns to act right without you."

It was said that "Just and Consistent" discipline would benefit your children by giving them stability, a sense of responsibility and inner direction.

I believe this wholeheartedly...but acting on it is SO hard at times!!


Last night was a real test for Tom and I.
We had given her permission to go to a school carnival with a neighbor friend on Friday night.
She was SO excited...girls night out.

After dinner last night- she asked if she could play outside before homework.
The previous night she had given me fits about her homework.

I said, "You can play outside...but when I call you in...you can't fuss...and you can't give me fits when you do your homework. If you do fuss and throw a fit...you won't be able to go to the carnival tomorrow night."

She was distracted.
I had her look me in the eyes and I repeated the deal.
She confirmed her understanding and then sealed the deal with a pinky promise.


It was time to come in. She did so cheerfully.
Then homework time.
Not so cheerfully.

Fits, fits, fits.
Tears and more fits.

We told her that she hadn't kept her half of the promise and she wouldn't be able to go to the carnival. Holy meltdown.

Tom told her to get ready for bed and she could wake up early to complete her homework in the morning. More of a meltdown.

She got her jammies on and couldn't sleep. She kept coming down....crying....uncontrollably.

Tom and I were both so sad that she hadn't kept her promise...and even sadder that we had to keep ours.
It SUCKS!!

It was so pitiful....so sad.
We wanted to just say "Apologize and you can go."
We WANTED her to be able to go!!
But no, we knew we had to be firm.

After another hour of tears - Tom told her to go upstairs and write down her feelings since she was so upset she couldn't even form a sentence.

She came down with this:


And then this....


When she didn't get the response she had hoped for - she returned with this:


Tom told her that this wasn't about what she wanted - it was about her poor choices...and what she'd done wrong.
She left again for a long time and finally returned with this:


She got hugs and kisses and went back to bed....for a minute...and came back with this:

(translated: "crushed" heart)

True remorse was setting in...finally.....though she STILL held out hopes that she could go to the carnival - as illustrated in her final plea:


She came and gave me one last hug goodnight and said, "Mama, will you talk with Daddy about it tonight?" (come to find out she had already been to see Tom - given him the hug - and requested he talk with me about it, as well :)

She went to bed and whimpered herself to sleep.

We talked. The verdict was reached.

This morning I woke her up and it was the first question out of her mouth...
"Did you talk about it with Dad?"

"Yes, we talked and we want more than anything for you to be able to go to the carnival...but you broke a promise and threw fits all night. The problem is there has to be a punishment. You can't just say "sorry" and you are off the hook. So we decided you have a choice. You can stay home from the carnival tomorrow night...or you can stay inside after school today - not play with your friends- and help me do chores for 2 hours until it's time to go to the carnival."

She threw her arms around me and squeezed me tighter than she ever had.

This is why I love that book.

Before - I would have been hung up on the "firm and consistent" part.
This brought in an entirely new concept...."Fair".

She had suffered. She had done her time.
She felt remorse.
She is going to pay restitution after school :)

This mothering thing could drive me to drink.
But how could I not love it?
Look at those notes!!



Thursday, August 27, 2009

Beginnings...Again

I still can't believe 2nd Grade is here already.
Where has the time gone?

Karah chose a nontraditional first day photo - giving her Daddy a booty bump- while laughing uncontrollably. She was so excited for her big day.


The Backpack


The Lunch Box


The walk of nerves


Escorted by her proud, little brother.


Bryce was very upset about leaving her at the school.


It felt so odd leaving with the boys.
I was missing her, already.

So many emotions....proud of her growth....wishing it could slow down a little....pleased that she was so confident....wishing for the days when she needed me to stay just a "few more minutes"....excited for her new adventures....worried for the hard days.... Just a ball of typical schizophrenic nerves. I just love her. That's my baby.

Before we knew it...she was home to play again.


One of her favorite dinner's was waiting...
On the Special Red Plate, of course.


Lasagna, Caesar salad, and Corn.

It was a celebration of her big day!


Complete with happy brothers.


We love you Karah...
Here's to an incredible year!!!

Blueberry Hill



"I had a blueberry in front of my face and it fell in my nose."
-Bradley, stretching the truth, age 4

Friday, August 21, 2009

Summer Vaca...Day 8 Part 2


After we recovered from the underpants sighting...we headed back to the hotel and hooked up with the rest of the family for dinner at Little America...which was SO tasty.

Afterward we all enjoyed a celebratory dip together...which included much wrestling.

We said our sad goodbyes and headed to bed.The next morning we flew home...all prayers were heard and Bryce was an absolute angel the entire way. We landed to 100 degree heat with 100 percent humidity. The dream had ended. Back to reality....which started with a dead car battery in the airport parking lot.

Though we loved our vacation - there was nothing like being back home....minus the fact that our A/C had broken when we were gone. Like I said....back to reality.

Goodnight Summer Vacation 2009. See you next year!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Summer Vaca...Days 6 and 7

While the kids slept in with their cousins early Saturday morning - Tom could have been spotted playing the Wasatch Mountain course again. When he got home- Lori, Court, and I went to do a little shopping at "All That Stuff in the Barn" ... a great home decor shop in Midway. I came away with several treasures...including the sweetest bird that Lori bought for me. I love birds!



The kids lounged and played with Courtney and Maddi...who are adorable, by the way.




We all spent the afternoon swimming at The Zermatt.

All of the other UT cousins came later in the afternoon. Tom, Jim, Mat, and AJ golfed again. Later that night, Courtney was brave enough to watch all the kids while all of the grown ups went out to dinner. Back to Snake Creek Grille.....it really was that good the 1st time.

After we got packed up Sunday morning - we headed over to Kevin and Renee's for Sunday lunch. Incredible Prime Rib, homemade rolls, sweet potato casserole, and beans fresh from the garden. She went out of her way to make the incredible eclair cake from last year. Oh my goodness. It was great to relax and laugh about the good old days...and so sad when we had to say goodbye. She was such a huge part of my life for so many years....I just really miss her. Being around her reminds me of why I loved her to begin with...all those years ago.

Later that evening we headed down to Herriman and let the kids play with their cousins a little longer. These kids love each other so much.



They helped each other with their wing installation...



And flew...



And flew.



My favorite part was watching Maddi plug her nose as she jumped into the grass.



Karah stayed for a sleepover and we headed to The Little America Hotel for the night.
Tom stayed at this hotel as a kid - and it holds lots of memories - so we try to stay there whenever we come through Utah. Granted the decor is the same as it was 30 years ago...all the way down to the pink phone in the bathroom....the ornate chandelier that hangs over the glass table.
But as I laying on the mattress (that I imagine his parents slept on 30 years earlier) ...I smile...picturing Tom in the same room as a kid...putting on a nice shirt...slicking his hair down...and heading down to the hotel restaurant....ordering his open face beef sandwich that he has loved all these years.

I told Tom that I book that hotel for him - so he can relive those happy days...
but I realized this trip - that I might be doing it for me.

Though the halls smell musty and the rooms are "pristinely preserved"....I feel closer to him when we are there...and I feel joy in keeping the tradition alive for him...us.

Goodnight Days 6 and 7.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Summer Vaca...Day 6...Trains- n- Rafts

Friday was a fun day...one of my favorites.

We headed to the Heber Valley Railroad Station for a beautiful, scenic ride down through Provo Canyon.


All Aboard!!!!



The kids were in heaven.


The scenery on the train ride was gorgeous.
I could have sat and enjoyed it for hours and hours...


The kids were content eating their treats and gazing out the window.



I especially loved the open car - where the wind blows through. It was the perfect day for it.

The train dropped us off at Vivian Park to raft the Provo River.
Courtney played with Bryce in the park...


and they then enjoyed a train ride back up to Heber...all by themselves.

Bryce always waits to be super good and cute when he has Court all to himself....curiously.



A few snapshots of the rafting adventures.



Don't be scared, kids! It's not the unibomber! It's yo Daddy!









Tom and Karah were the only ones insane enough to hop into the 50 degree water. Brrrrr!







We rode the bus back to Heber...and met up with the cousins....straight to the pool we went.
Dinner our with Mat and Lori at the Zermatt.

Oh, yes, we topped the night off with evening massages from sweet Brian...again.
Once is never enough.

Goodnight Day 5!