Draw Nearer : The Fast

 

*THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO LOUISE DELANEY. THANKS FOR PAVING THE WAY TO PEACE, CONTENTMENT, AND PRODUCTIVITY. THE INFLUENCE OF YOUR EXAMPLE IS IMMEASURABLE.*

Dear Little Bear Cubs,

Two little words have been weighing heavily on my mind.  Two little words…the line dividing them so terribly thin…the meaning so vastly different.

Leisure: Time or opportunity for ease or relaxation; not occupied or engaged; time that is free from duties and responsibilities.

Idle: Avoiding work; lazy; lacking substance and value; to pass time while avoiding work; to move without purpose.

Lately I have found myself out of balance. I feel like a plate spinner…trying to keep everything moving while preventing something from crashing.

Playing with you guys, feeding you, driving you, studying  with you, doing housework, keeping clean clothes on your back, being the preschool president, my calling at church, doing invoicing for Daddy’s work, building my new business, feeding my spirit, exercising my body, dating daddy, writing, grocery shopping, organizing, reading for my certifications, classes for certifications, photography hobby, changing poops, sleep, prayers, and keeping up with my other family and friends…and much, much more. Too much. 

It seems that this list has exhausted me to the point that plates are falling…important plates. One plate that has never fallen? Social Networking.

Just putting this in writing makes it seem even more ridiculous. HOW is it that I can have so much going on – and be stretched so thin – yet I have time to check out Facebook several times a day just to confirm that everybody I haven’t seen for 20 years is doing “something”. 

Is this leisure or is it idleness? This is the debate I have been having with myself. In researching, I found the following quote that helped me put things in better perspective. 

“Our crucial task, is to distinguish leisure from idleness. Idleness puts us in a passive role, whereas leisure usually calls on us to participate mentally or physically or creatively; idleness merely passes time, whereas leisure fills personal needs; idleness occupies us, but leisure renews us; we put the responsibility for filling our idle time on something outside ourselves, whereas we look within ourselves for our leisure.” (Karen Lynn, Ensign, August 1981).

I understand that the answer is not the same for everyone…but for me…the answer is idleness.

I recently had a lengthy conversation with my sister and sister-in-law(love) where we openly admitted to each other that we could be making much better use of our time.

Honestly – how wrong is this? I struggle to find time to study my scriptures…I rush my prayers…but I somehow squeeze in enough time for social stinkin’ networking.   

I finally got angry enough at myself and declared a facebook fast. This fast also includes blog reading (with the exception of my family). I will let those plates crash to the ground while I take care of the ones that matter…the ones that are wobbling and threatening to fall if I don’t act now.

I asked myself this:

“What if I invested the same amount of time I am currently wasting…into something that strengthened me?”

“What would that look like?”

“What would it feel like?”

“What would change in my life?”

I thought of the Savior and how he would take time out of his ministry to separate himself from the throngs of people and spend time alone.

Luke 5:16 says, “And he withdrew himself from the wilderness and prayed”.

He withdrew himself.

Withdraw: To remove oneself from active participation; to remove.

Jesus Christ did not have a ministry where he sat peacefully as he preached to a few followers each day. Before he went up to the mount to pray, he had thousands of people following him through the countryside as they listened to him teach. He had people begging for healing, and then there were people following him – hoping for a new political leader, being dissatisfied with the Roman rule. Even Jesus felt the need to withdraw and be alone while he communed with God.

His example teaches me the importance of withdrawing…of going and being alone…slowing down from the regular pace of life, slowing my mind, and tuning into the voice of the Lord. 

This…is what I have been lacking. Hence…the Fast. It will be a fast of 40 days and 40 nights.

I have been feeling that “upward pull” again…to do more and be more.

A little less social networking…a little more of living life more fully…and being everything you deserve.

I love you little bear cubs…..more than all of my Facebook friends combined :) (little jokie)

Off to the mountains I go,

The Mama Bear

p.s.

For an interesting read…click here.