False Advertising

Lately, I have been misled.....in many ways.

"An ice storm is coming! The kids are going to be out of school on Tuesday!!!", they said.They didn't mention they would also be out Wednesday...and Thursday....and Friday!
(Just in time for the weekend)

During our ice adventure....I was also misled by this:


The picture on the box should have looked like this:

or this:
Or my personal favorite (disgusted toddler in background):

"Why doesn't it look like it does in the picture, Mama?" she innocently asked.
Her friends tried to console her by sharing their own hellish testimonial of their
"Easy Bake Oven" that led to nothing but disappointment and diarrhea.

And lastly....I was misled by thinking Bryce would amuse me, endlessly, by walking around in his man towel.
Only to find this.....and some pee on my floor.

Twilight

If you haven't already seen twilight......save yourself the trouble....and the money.....and click here for a 30 second recap. This rendition is actually BETTER than the original.

Items of Bidneth

This will be a "multi-post" post.....a little catching up to do.

The 1st item of bidneth. The phone snatcher struck again. This time it was MY turn. It went missing Friday evening. Saturday morning it was finally located....the kitchen trash was vibrating.
.....Notice he keeps his OWN cell with him at all times....and NEVER throws HIS away!

Hmmmmm.......interesting.

The 2nd Item of bidneth. Bowling. We were all sitting around on Saturday.... perfectly content "sitting"....but Boo was all bundled up with nowhere to go......

We opted for the bowling alley. Not the NEW one - where they bring you pizza as you bowl.....that's skanky. Who wants to eat with fingers that have recently penetrated the dark, dirty, infested holes of a bowling ball? Not us.....comes WAY to close to a Chuck E. Cheese experience. Anything that remotely resembles the "Rat Bastard" is strictly prohibited on Saturdays.

As a result - we went to the "old" alley....with the bitter manager who gives you the stink eye the entire time you bowl. Here are a few highlights.....

And then there was Bradley.....

Every picture I took of him....was THIS. Identical. Consistent form.


He took this game VERY "theoryothlee".

And Bryce....not yet strong enough to participate....so he was the keeper of da ballz.

Oh yes....and he also had the special job of pushing the "reset" button RIGHT when I let go of my ball....so it slammed into the gate and the bowling Nazi got to come over and give me a "warning". Thanks sweetie. Nothing like being scolded in front of my own kids.

Tommy T did a mighty fine job......

And me.....yes, I bowled....and yes, I came in last place...and no....I didn't lose on purpose. I am an official loser. Beat out by my 3 and 6 year old.

No pics of me = butt shots not allowed.

The 3rd Item of Bidneth: Ice. We are in the middle of an ice storm tonight. I erected (lol) a pup tent in the living room for the pups....to add to the excitement. Jammies, flashlights, sleeping bags, and Nintendo DS's secured.....and ready to weather out the storm.

I did have a goal - besides fun. I figure if the power goes out and we lose heat....what better way to stay warm then to put their hot little bodies in a nylon tent - doors and windows zipped up....with blankies and pillows......apparently my theory is working. I unzipped the tent tonight and a tidal wave of hot "kid steam" came charging out. If you aren't familiar with "kid steam" - it is not desirable. No better way to describe it than ..... "A humid concoction of dirty feet, stinky fingers, and stuffy nose breath."

As a matter of fact, I think Tom and I will tough the night out in our room.

Cold....we can deal with.

Draw Nearer

Little Bear Cubs,
Today I got to teach the Relief Society lesson - for a friend. I was asked to teach from Joseph B. Wirthlin's final address before he passed away this year. It was titled, "Come What May, and Love It." It talked about how each of us faces adversity in life....but it is how we endure it that will determine our happiness in this life....and in the eternities to come.

Heartache, loss, sadness, loneliness...are all natural things for us to experience in this life. The beauty of it - is that these events usually end up driving us to our knees....deepen our communication with Heavenly Father.....and better us.

I believe that by embracing these challenges - instead of running from them - we are able to sanctify, or purify, our lives.

Gratitude plays a huge role in this. Being thankful for our trials...understanding that in a way - they are a gift from a loving Father - who wants us to stay close to Him - who wants us to improve and grow.

I have included some notes from my studying for this lesson - that are of great worth to me. I hope that you will be able to find meaning in these words, as well. That at some point in your life...reading....and recognizing the truth of these statements will bring you peace in a time of hopelessness......that this will serve as a reminder of everything you have ever been taught and know to be right.

Hold tight to the rod - little bear cubs. Stay on that strait and narrow path. Keep your eyes focused on where you want to be....and WHO you want to be. Do not become discouraged or distracted and stray.....there is no joy in those places. Stay close to the Lord - not only in times of despair - but especially in times of peace and prosperity. It is in those peaceful times that you need to prepare for the storms of life. The time that your foundation is built....upon the Rock, who is Christ.

I love you more than I ever supposed possible,

The Mama Bear

Come What May, and Love It - Joseph B. Wirthlin

1. “How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t – at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.” - Joseph B. Wirthlin

2. Elder Orson F. Whitney wrote: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God, … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire” (quoted in Improvement Era, Mar. 1966, 211).

3. “Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understand our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.” - Joseph B. Wirthlin

4. “The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not be at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.” - Joseph B. Wirthlin

5. Bruce C. Hafen said, “The Savior of the world knew all kinds of pain, and many others we can never comprehend. ‘Man of Sorrows’ was His name. Surely, he was ‘acquainted with grief’. Only He was capable of absorbing the mental and spiritual anguish inflicted by Gethsemane. He himself tells us of that pain – how sore we know not, how exquisite we know not, how hard to bear we know not. (D & C 19:15-19) Yet when he elsewhere says, “my joy is full” we are assured that a fullness of joy for on such as He, must be richer, fuller, again more exquisite than we may ever know in mortality. There must be some natural relationship between our capacity to be taught by pain on the one hand and our capacity to receive joy on the other. That might be worth remembering when our own pain seems sore and exquisite.” (A Willingness to Learn from Pain, Ensign, October 1983)

6. President Hinckley stated, “All of us have problems. We face them every day. How grateful I am that we have difficult things to wrestle with. They keep us young, if that is possible. They keep us alive. They keep us going. They keep us humble. They pull us down to our knees to ask the God of heaven for help in solving them. Be grateful for your problems, and know that somehow there will come a solution.” (An Evening with a General Authority, CES Fireside, 7 Feb 2003).

Ready to Snap.

Your eyes do not deceive you.

Those are Christmas lights.
They are on OUR house.
It is January 23rd.

At first I thought Tommy T was having a hard time letting "the season" go.

Not so much.

"When are you going to take the lights down Tom?"

"It's bitterly cold out there. I'll get chilled to the bone! I'm going to wait until it warms up."
A week passes.....

"You gonna take the lights down today?"

"I think I have a fever. If I had to guess....I'm probably at 103 degrees."

Another week passes.....

"Is today the day? Valentines is almost here....."

"Are you kidding me? It's freezing!!!! I'm going to wait until it warms up again."

Somehow....SOME way...... ALL of our neighbors found a day warm enough to take their lights down.....must have been the day he had his phantom fever.

Tomorrow.....supposed to be freezing outside.

I am personally going to climb the ladder....grab the end of the string of lights....and RIP them off the house.....gutters and all. This will likely be done with me wearing paper thin pajamas....no bra....slippers......with a whole lotta cussing.

Merry Christmas.

Sorry Neighbors....first you have to put up with all of the toys in our yard....making us look like an abusive day care center.....and now this.

Y.O.E.

It is called "Y.O.E." ----- many years ago Tom and I started a new tradition called, "The Year of Exploration". We were tired of dinner and a movie....so we took turns planning date nights....with the following rules:

1. It had to be something that we had never experienced together.
2. If dining - had to be something we had never tried.

Well, tonight we had a Y.O.E. date and went to see "Drumline Live".....

Since it was in a college town - we thought we would eat like college students and go to
The Village Inn for some breakfast (I know....a wee bit skanky....but a memory, nonetheless).

On the menu....veggie omelette's with multi-grain pancakes. Yum.

We looked at Real Estate magazines ....shopping for land....preferably lots of it....where we can take the kids to play on the weekends. It was fun talking, dreaming, and just being with him.

While we waited for our breakfast - Tom suggested a saucy photo shoot. Here is our sauciness....

Tom mistook "saucy" for "scary". Grrrrr....

We then headed to the show.....aisle seat for Tommy T of course....so he wouldn't hulk out in the middle of the production. We people watched .... as every seat eventually filled.The show was incredible! We loved it! Of course they didn't allow up to take pics of it - but luckily - they came out in the lobby after the show and did a little diddy. I taped it for your viewing pleasure. Crank up yer sound and shake yer bickies!!!! (though this was tame compared to the actual performance....it still gives you a little tasty treat....)

I love our Y.O.E. nights....and love the fact that we will not have a blur of "dinner and a movie's" as our memories together. I love that I will always have in my mind...the vision of Tommy T jivin' like he's old school - coming out of his chair.....leg bouncing....toes tapping....hands clapping.....and laughing at the ginormous tuba player.... i loved every minute of it...and love every bit of him.

Times Have Changed

Today I took the kids to the dentist for their bi-annual check-up.

My mind quickly reverted back to when I was young like them.
Going to the dentist was NOT the same as it is today.
Times have definitely changed.
For instance....the waiting room.

Back in the day....there were no train tables.
There were no video games.
....there was no sibling peace for that matter...waiting room or elsewhere.

There were no fun, colorful, squishy chairs to navigate.

And there was no need to use my tongue as a balancing stick...
There was NO mischief to be had.
There was no "all being seen at the same time"....we had to wait our turn.
There were no fun sunglasses to protect our eyes from the big bright light.
They were heartless!!!!!

My dental hygienists were middle aged....and angry. Very angry.

They were NOT 21 years old with false eyelashes.
(....which I completely understand....having your face covered with a mask all day...what 21 year old doesn't want to find a way to stand out?)

There was no selection of bubble gum, cookies and cream, mint, strawberry, malt liquor, or steak and potatoes toothpaste flavorings.
Nope. My only option was gritty mint.


There were no "spit suckers" to capture and release the gritty foam before it slid down the back of my throat. There was only a public "spit dish" that I had to "beg with my eyes" to be able to use.

There was no TV plastered to the ceiling with cartoons playing on it.


My dentist didn't count my teeth as he sang the A-B-C's.
And he also wasn't charming and young.

He never made me feel like the coolest kid in the world.....even though I was...and had an obnoxious pink shirt to prove it....that said "COOL"... just in case someone forgot.

My reward was a new toothbrush and a trial size toothpaste.
There were no golden coins to use in toy dispensing machines....there were no gemstone rings....there were no stickers.....there were no stuffed frogs with teeth. There were no "fun" colored toothbrushes with kid flavored paste. Nope. None of that.
No wonder I looked so sad. I was worried about going back to the dentist.
Congrats on NO cavities little bear cubs!!!!

p.s. - Doesn't Uncle John (in red) look just like Bryce???

The prodigal phone

What was once lost has now been found. It happened at 6:45 am as Tommy T perused the closet for his outfit of the day. Alas....it was wedged between his carry on suitcase and my flip flop (singular).

He screamed.
No really....he did.
Several times he did.

HOORAY!

Thinking Outside the Box

Sometimes you just have to think outside the box.
Push the limits.

For instance.....try to be like Tommy T.......

Instead of using THIS .....to wipe your baby's face......

Why not use these......like HE did tonight.

"How was I supposed to know?"he asked.

I pointed to this.....

At least I know that Bryce's nose is now 99.9% clean.

So think outside the box.
Ignore the warnings that say "Keep out of reach of children"
Just rub lemon fresh bleach all over your child's face......TODAY!

I expect Clorox will soon catch the vision and add this to their packaging.

Don't worry about Bryce.....his bleach high and nasty rash will be gone soon enough.

Oh, and one more thing. I don't recommend keeping these next to your toilet either.
My brother Mat once mistook them for Charmin wet wipes.
Same nasty rash....without the high.