Double Date to the Derby

Tommy T and I have continued our tradition of going to the demolition derby Bi-Annually. August 16 was the big night. We thought we would get "gussied up" - redneck style for our romantic evening out. We planned a double date with John and Shannon. We thought we would be more sure to pull off "authentic redneck" if John was with us. Shannon and I ratted out our hair - and wore trashy shirts. We thought tattoos would also be appropriate. It's all about fitting in.

Tommy T let me put a tattoo on the back of his neck - not knowing what it was. I think others were baffled at this big guy with such a sweet, feminine tattoo.

John thought it would be more "dramatic" if he put an entire sheet of tattoos on his arm. Unfortunately, they were all hearts, fairies, stardust, and intimidating things like that. It formed a perfect rectangle - to make it more believable.

I was a classy redneck. My tattoos were more traditional.

We decided if we were going redneck - we had to eat redneck. The Sizzler it was. When we entered, they treated us like VIPs. They were so excited that someone was there to eat. 3/4 of the menu was whited out - they said they were "all out" of those items (aka they spoiled because of no business). John showed his reverence for the Sizzler by removing his hat.

We all ordered the same steak - except when they came out - they were all different sizes and shapes. I asked the manager about it. "We all ordered the same thing but......" she interrupted, "Yes, I know, they are the same steaks - they are just different shapes - they come that way." I thought I was going to choke I was laughing so hard. Tommy T HAD varied and ordered the Filet Mignon. It was LITERALLY a 2 inch diameter. He said "I could cough up more than that".

A brief recap of the shirts. Shannon's said "Mood Swings in 6 seconds" John went with a traditional T shirt with the arms cut off. He also mowed the lawn in it right before he came - so it smelled authentic as well. Yes, that is a Miller Lite hat with a bottle opener on the rim.My shirt said "SuperGirl" and had a fake rose tattoo on the sleeve. Tom went ultra white trash with a Pepsi hat and a shirt that said "Who's Your Daddy?" This chick was directing traffic in her glow in the dark shirt and knee high WWF Boots. And that car was NOT in the derby - he was there to watch. What is more redneck than carrying around a piece of turkey carcass and gnawing it off the bone?

This little sweetie dressed up for the derby. I thought it was cute.

Oh, yes - and then there was the man sitting next to us who pulled a baby RA-FREAKIN-COON out of his shirt in the middle of the derby. The Coon's name is Roscoe. He has a "bit-o-honey" in his mouth and his teeth are stuck together. He was captured when he was a newborn. They had definitely bonded with each other. There was a lot cuddling and even some open mouth kissing. The derby wasn't as exciting as usual - but the costumes and the coon made up for it.