Branson Aint Just For Geriatrics!

It seemed that this go around, there was a conspiracy.

"Watch for Sarah - she's the one in the white minivan (with 16 cup holders) and the Bears license plate. When you see her - SLAM ON YOUR BREAKS AND REFUSE TO BREAK 20!!! It will be HILARIOUS!"

Please enjoy the parade of vehicles that our family got stuck behind - on our way to our weekend trip to Branson.

Notice the last Truck in our way was the FIRST to be in a passing lane.....and of course - oncoming traffic. Is that not just par for the road block course?
The Roads were very windy - but there were only the occasional threats of vomit - yelled out from the back seat

Apparently Karah brought her makeup bag. We later had a chat about how eyeshadow is for make believe - at home. NOT for family vacations.

Tommy T was entertained as I had my panic attack on the bridge. I still don't understand why he finds this so amusing! My "episodes" are noticeably worse when I have children in the car. Is it bad that I yell, "Unbuckle your seat belts! Take your shoes off!" Every time we cross a big bridge? Therapy anyone?

We had to pee. We stopped at a hole in the wall gas station in "Blue Eye, MO", which Tom insists on calling "red eye" every time we pass through. Boys are nasty. Anyway, I told Tommy T to get me a sucker. I unwapped it - and much to my joy - found that it had been "pre-sucked". He went in and traded it out for me - only to find that my new sucker had also been previously violated. Nasty. The manager claimed that the A/C had been out and destroyed "nearly" all of his candy.....but I guess not his suckers?? I think he is a liar. He has probably licked every sucker and hard candy in that store and gets his grins by watching people discover it.

We survived our suckerless, rainy drive up to Branson and headed straight for The Cantina Laredo - our favorite Mexican restaurant on the Branson Landing.

They made fresh guacamole at our table. Can you see the excitement on my face?

In the background you can see the fountains that shoot water and fire, as they are choreographed to music. The kids were amused....until

THE FLAMES ARRIVED!!! The laughter quickly turned into into tears as they thought the jaws of hell were opening up after them.

This is how I spent the rest of my meal :) Tommy T and I have GOT to go back alone!

We didn't have any change for the kids to make a wish. Since they couldn't throw money in - they thought they would TAKE money out. Daddy put his foot down - there would be no stealing of other little kids wishes.

As we window shopped, Bradley was a gentlemen and held my umbrella. He was kind to me - but not so kind to the THREE MEN he RACKED with the umbrella while strolling through the mall.

The kids took a break to play on the playground - while mommy was rejected at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (I didn't have my ID). The weight loss Gods were mocking me.

The kids were a bit wound up. We went to the condo to tuck them in - and all they could do was wrestle.

We eventually got them to calm down long enough to say prayers - and we escaped to our bedroom. Bow chicka bow bow. The next morning we went to Big Cedar for some horseback riding. Karah and I went on a 3 mile trail ride while the boys stayed back and watched Boo ride some smaller horsies. It was overcast and a little chilly. Perfect riding weather!

We LOVE Big Cedar!!! It is beautiful! A great escape!

Does this horse make my butt look big?

"No, your BUTT makes your butt look big"

Karah is a gifted and confident rider. I am not.I complained to the guide that my horse kept trying to knock me off by walking me under trees. She then explained that I am STEERING the horse. I thought I just made it go and stop. It seems that you can also make it turn left and right.

Charger was NOT amused by me - in the least bit. He was a bit of a snob. He was definitely not as friendly as the horse I rode at Chuck-E-Cheese.

The guide encouraged Karah to take riding lessons. She said that she had incredible confidence and control of the horse. For some reason she didn't recommend lessons for me.

Bradley saddled up for his ride on "Chester". What a sweet little cowboy.

He also LOVES riding.

Bryce plans on writing the ACLU because they did not provide him a pony with a car seat attachment.

Tom rushed over to me when we got back form our trail ride. He was SO excited - there was something he just HAD to show me. I should have known better than to think that he had some spectacular view to show me - I should have known it would be something like this...

Yes. It is a tree that looks like a huge butt. We have named it "The Bickie Tree". We plan to return every spring and give it a wipe it for good luck.

I love him. I just love him.

Stay tuned for the rest of our Branson adventures!