Last weekend I went on a day trip to the outlet malls in Branson with Courtney. We took the route through Eureka Springs and I was shocked at the number of nipples that were out and about. Male nipples. White trash nips. I am not kidding. We stopped in Eureka for gas and EVERY male in the entire town was topless. Is it "topless" when speaking of a man - or "shirtless"? 
The ONLY reason there is not a "nipumentary" is because I had a photoslacker in the passenger seat. She thought it more important to document balloons in a used car lot rather than the smorgasbord of nipples.
We forged ahead through Eur-nipple Springs only to get stuck behind this man. I am convinced he sits on the side of the road and WAITS for me each time I go to Branson.
I did "The Macarena" to pass the time. I was going so slow I didn't need to hold the steering wheel.
I had my traditional panic attack when going over the bridge. Rolled the windows down, unbuckled, removed my shoes, and experienced shortness of breath. Maybe I need a trip to the Maury Povich show - where they help people overcome their fears of Styrofoam peanuts, bunnies, and bridges.
We had great time and found some good buys. Even grabbed a burger at Billy Bob's Dairy Land - which I highly recommend. However, Tom and I are headed back to Branson with the kiddos this weekend and plan on trying Culvers after reading Meg's RANTINGS about it. Can't wait to report!
We thought we were lost on the way home. We weren't quite sure - everything looked the same - until we saw THIS.
Not quite sure what was going on with this place.
Was that someone's home?
Did a Spanish drug lord live here?
Was it the headquarters of Taco Bell?
Could this be where all of the shirtless men congregate?
We finally got back on track and found the Burger King where people were selling
gently used lingerie in the parking lot. Look closely and you can see the lace and mesh. Courtney picked up a few items.
How convenient - a whopper and a G string.
Now that's what I call one stop shopping.
LONG LIVE THE REDNECKS!
In all fairness to Sarah, I have to make sure everyone knows that I took the blurry pictures. I wouldn't want her future as a professional photographer to be ruined by pictures that are not her work. And in my defense about the no nipple pics...I'm a total chicken about taking a stranger's picture...especially a "dirty" man's picture. I was afraid he'd come at me with a dirty needle or something. Of course, we were in the car, but that's beside the point.
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