Time Out for Chicks

This weekend I went to St. Louis for Time Out for Women. Courtney and I headed out Friday morning.....and of course we solicited a few honks along the way. Here is a consolidated photomentary of some of our favorite truck drivers. We found that "Con-Way" truck drivers were the friendliest.

Courtney packed her cooler full of healthy snacks - so we could stay strong and resist the snickers bar cravings. We ate some apples and string cheese and then found the closest gas station and got Twix.

She also packed blow pops. I was taking it out of my mouth for this picture and it ended up like I was smoking sumpin. Not so. My favorite person we passed was the dude driving the hearse. He was covered in tattoos and looked WAY to comfortable in the vehicle. We didn't wave at him.
We were violated at the Golden Corral. Yes, the Golden Corral. We were trying SO HARD to be good and eat healthy - and we couldn't stand the thought of another Subway sandwich - so we ....er.....I had the bright idea to find a salad bar and eat salad. We were starving and it was the first one we saw. It lived down to everything that it is known for......dirty tables, dirty people, greasy floors, a pervert at the meat cutting station, woman filling her plate while wearing a surgical mask (hadn't figured out if she was trying to keep from SPREADING infection or CATCHING something), shortage of toilet paper in the bathroom, hair in the butter at the baked potato bar, schwetty men smiling at us, and very sweet waitresses. For some reason the golden corral attracts the sweet little waitresses. That part was good.
Anyway - it was nasty. When I was thinking of salad, I was thinking of fresh field greens, spinach, romaine, FRESH veggies and fruit. Well, not so much. The worst part was - when we finished and headed back on the "motorway" (what our GPS calls the interstate) - we passed the VERY NEXT EXIT and saw a sign for Ruby Tuesday's. We both screamed. We had been violated. All because we couldn't drive ONE MORE MILE without food.

We arrived in St. Louis and checked into the Embassy Suites. Due to my pre-marriage experience as a hotel manager, I know that you NEVER lay on the top comforter OR let the fuzzy blanket touch you. We pulled everything back to lay on the sheets and rest. When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a blood stain. Yes. People think if you stay at a nicer hotel that your room is going to be cleaner. Wrong. Why? Because housekeepers are housekeepers. Generally speaking - they will do as little as possible. Most hotels pay them by the room - as opposed to an hourly rate. This encourages them to do things quickly and skip over things so they can rush on to the next room.

Maybe this is common knowledge to you already - but if not....please refer to my checklist that I complete when I check into ANY hotel room.

Germophobes Beware:

Check the sheet. Pull everything back - get eye level with the bed and pull the sheets taut. You will see body hairs bounce off the sheets if any are to be found.

1. Smell the pillow cases. If it smells like dirty hair - and not bleach.........you will know that they changed the sheets and not the pillows. This is one of the most common shortcuts for housekeepers.
2. Check for body hair in the shower.
3. Lift the toilet seat to make sure it has been cleaned. If there are yellow or brown marks - it hasn't :)
4. Check the sink and mirror for toothpaste splatter.
5. Check the towels. They should all smell like bleach and not like someones shampoo or soap. That is another common shortcut. Hanging gently used towels.
6. Always pack flip flops. You do NOT want to walk barefoot on that carpet. You have no clue the things that have happened on your floor. Failure to do so can easily result in athlete's foot, plantar warts, and other nasty things.
7. Check your mini fridge and microwave. Sometimes you will find someones old food - or splatterings in the microwave from the chef boyardee they heated up.
8. Always carry a little pack of Lysol wipes in your luggage. Wipe down the phone, remote, and handles and knobs. If you took a black light to them - you would vomit.
9. Call the front desk and ask for an extra flat sheet. Remove the nasty comforter and then put the clean flat sheet on top of the fuzzy blanket - and wrap it around so it acts as a duvet. State law varies, but in Ohio - the state regulation was that those comforts be laundered every quarter. And THAT is if the hotel obeys that - which is rare. Now you know why they choose comforters with wild patterns. It covers the blood, snot, semen, urine, spit up, poop, and saliva stains. I curse you now to have that mental image every time you walk into your hotel room. Just throw it in the corner - for me.

If you find ANY of these call the front desk and tell them that you refuse to pay what you are paying to sleep in a filthy room. They will either take 50% off of your room or comp it all together.

Our room at the Embassy was $158 - and we paid nothing....as we should have. We removed the sheets and found the exact blood stain on the mattress pad - which told us that the stain was not old - and our sheets had not been changed. So nasty.

Sorry for that little educational detour. Back to the story.

We headed to the Mid-Rivers Mall and did a little shopping so we would have something to wear the next day....and then stopped by DSW and found some GREAT sales on shoes. I got a pair of Steve Madden's and Liz Claiborne's for the price I would have spent on ONE pair. We then hit the ultimate jackpot because there "just happened" to be a "Culvers" next door. YOU think that we put the culvers address in our GPS and found it THAT way, don't you? You think that we INTENTIONALLY chose THAT mall because it was right next to Culvers! Shame on you!!!

Courtney was introduced to the beauty of the butterburger. Re-live it with me, will you?

Let's see that one more time!!!!!!

Here's what was left.

We went back to the hotel and met up with Court's mom, sister, and their friends. I was able to meet Connie- who is one of my biggest blog fans. She asked me to sign her chest with a sharpie - but I compromised and used ball point. We had a great time laughing - and then they headed off to experience Culvers themselves. We lounged around and got ready to go next door to the Ameristar casino - in search of our giant pretzel. Last time we visited St. Louis, someone told us that they had pretzel s at the casino that are the size of your head. We discovered them then and vowed to always get one if we were in town .And NO, that is not our beer. I had to find a picture online - because we ate ours before we could take a picture of it. Who would eat a pretzel right off of a tray? Those things are dirtier than hotel comforters. We enjoyed people watching. We didn't know it - but you are supposed to wear high heels if you go to a Casino. Regardless of whether you are wearing jeans, a skirt, or shorts - you are supposed to wear high heels. We had fun watching the women walking down the cobblestone floors in their stilettos. Here are a few other shoes we able to capture on film. This one was the most unfortunate of all we had seen. You can see the excess skin spilling over the top - and the patent leather digging into her big toe. When I took the picture, I think she may have known because she cinched up her "pointer" toe. Before the shot it was dragging on the ground. Imagine the blisters. It had a rather high heel on the back and with the pointer toe dangling, it could be a tripping hazard.

No, she isn't climbing the wall - I just can't get my pic to rotate. I liked the bows. Courtney shot this one while they were both going potty.

It was really sad watching all of the other people - you could tell some were just there to have fun, while others were there out of addiction - and others desperately hoping and needing to win something....anything, really. It was rather depressing....To cheer ourselves up, we met up with Meg, Jerushia, and Kasey for some Karaoke at a mexican place called "Tequilas".

Stay tuned for the adventures of "The Sober girls".