Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Bad Karma

If you look closely in his wee beady eye, you will occasionally see a glimpse of little devil.

Do you remember my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning I had on Tuesday? Well....Monday afternoon I went to pay my utility bill and pulled up to the drive-thru. There were a few cars in line and then a little, old, Asian woman standing next in line. I thought she was lost - but quickly realized that she was walking through the drive through. I got a chuckle out of it - who walks through a drive thru? They accommodate all of the pedestrians INSIDE the building. I took a picture of her with my cell phone while I waited (which I will post tomorrow). After she paid her bill, she came up and started banging on my window. "Two hundred dollahs! Two hundred dollahs! Why? How this happen??? What in world!" I quickly got annoyed because:

  1. Her rantings would NOT let up

  2. My utility bill tripled hers.

I said, "What are you complaining about? Mine was $600." She grabbed her heart and yelled "HOW THAT HAPPEN! WHAT!!!" I said, "You pay one unit - I pay three" as I rolled the window up. She was still yelling through the glass - so I just pulled up and watched her walking away in my rear view mirror.

The lady in the drive thru was still laughing and my kids were full of questions. "What was she doing? Why did she walk through the drive through? Are you allowed to do that? Are the police going to throw her down the drain?" etc..... I then laughed about it with the kids - how silly was it that someone would stand in a drive thru.

Well, the next day was my THNGVBM. (Terrible, horrible.......). It was time to go pick up Bradley from preschool - and on my way I thought I would try and be kind to other drivers. There was a chick in the turn lane - trying to turn left into a day care. I was in the lane closest to her - and she was depending on me to motion to her when it was safe to go. RIGHT when I told her to go - these two guys on bullet bikes came speeding through. I almost caused two deaths - as they slammed on their brakes to avoid the collision. They followed her into the day care parking lot and revved their engines at her. I think this is how bikers say they are ticked off. Do bullet bikes have horns? It was so "geh" how they were intimidating her.

Tangent - what's up with bikers anyway? Why do they have to wave at each other. "Hey -how's it going - I see you are on two wheels, too - which makes us WAY cooler than everyone else on 4. We will wave at each other because we are part of a secret club - and THOSE losers can't join."

What if this gay trend carried over into other areas of life. "Hey hey, you married a red head too - high five." Or maybe "You have a car seat in your car - OMG so do I - flash the lights". Perhaps "Oh- you're overweight too! A big honk for you". It's asinine if you think about it. Why is it okay for them? I am going to start a Honda Odyssey club. I will only wave at women driving them. Maybe we can start a club too - and slowly take away their power.

Well - on to the bad karma. I mocked the senior citizen Asian woman for walking through the drive thru. I pick Boo up from school. He is in the back of the van - and I took him through McDonald's to get lunch, since Tommy T and I were going out in a bit. He asked if he could unbuckle and come up while I ordered so he could get his happy meal. I told him to stay buckled and wait until we got home. Holy hell. Holy meltdown. He was screaming like a velociraptor. I thought the glass was going to shatter. I felt blood coming out of my ears.

"Welcome to McDonalds - may I take your order please?"

(me screaming the order while he screams): "Can I get a chicken nugget happy meal with apple juice?"

"What! What! Can you repeat that?? (I am sure the the decibels were traveling through her little headset and her head was ready to explode....she was totally annoyed)

We went through this a couple times and then I had to GET OUT OF MY CAR - SHUT THE DOOR AND PLACE MY ORDER WHILE STANDING IN THE DRIVE THRU. It was lunch rush. There were several "What in the hell" looks on people's faces. One chick was holding her cell phone - and I am SO positive I am being blogged about right now. I saw grins and heard chuckles. I was moments from this.....


(I DID NOT pose Courtney;s son in this position. I told him to smile and this is what he did....no worries - it was an innocent, playful bird - he had no clue what he was doing.....I think.....I hope).

Of course as soon as I pulled out of the parking lot - the exorcism had been completed and I had my sweet little boy back. Go figure.


So as the sun sets on you this night - renew your commitment with me - to always be careful what you say about others....because it always comes back to bite you in the butt.
Be forewarned Meg......should some innocent woman wave you on into oncoming traffic - and you aren't as lucky..... we might bury you in a denim jumper with control top "suntan" pantyhose.......just for kicks on resurrection day :)

1 comment:

  1. haha I didn't think that at all. I did get a lot from the talks -especially jane's, and I have pages full of thoughts I wrote down, but the peace I felt came from just having fun. -I guess that's just needed a weekend to lighten up, relax, have fun, and appreciate what I have. My mom and I are VERY alike, so we find it hilarious that she, too was worried I was and "dead inside"!

    Plus she owns a denim skirt and wondered if that was in some type of grey area.

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